cfsmtb in low earth orbit

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Driving us wild

Refer right: Universal Truths

The Age: Driven to despair
We're rude, inconsiderate and aggressive. In short, argues David Morley, Victorians are among the worst drivers in the world — and the blame for that is shared by many. There's an old saying that there are two things you can't tell an Australian bloke. One, that he's no good in bed; and two, that he can't drive well. While we'll draw the line at any assessment of prowess in the boudoir, we've some bad news on the latter front.

I wouldn't draw the line there, its frigging obvious a great deal of road user aggression is sexually focused. I should really get around to diarising the charming range of scatological combined with romantic gynecological namesakes I've incurred over the years. One of the finest retorts is no reaction all all (maintaining a zen-like calm whilst monitoring the situation), followed by utilising the Air Zound to physically MOVE the car. If all else fails, one then partakes in obscene tongue gestures towards to the driver. Oh, my, how that renders the poor things speechless. The look of motification on the poor little dears face is priceless. SHE DID THAT OH MY GAWD HOW FRIGGING DISGUSTING!!!! Which buys me time to speedy depart the scene. Not forgetting another gem from todays Rage: The other road rules: How to Drive like a Melburnian. (Disclaimer: I don't drive and don't come from Melbourne).

Don't give a sucker an even break
babelfish for cyclists: motorists display pig ignorance towards smaller slower moving objects on the left

Amber is the new green
babelfish for cyclists: larger speeding objects to scare the shit out of any cyclist legally obeying the changing lights (at whim)

One man, one lane
babelfish for cyclists: motorists, go on, be a selfish twunt, keep ignoring that cyclist

Are those indicators painted on?
babelfish for cyclists: motorist, um, whats this button/switch do?

babelfish for cyclists: motorists, go faster, go closer, continue to be pig ignorant

Right is might

babelfish for cyclists: fuck off


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