cfsmtb in low earth orbit

Monday, December 12, 2005

Wrathful H*tm*t Gods Smite Thee Down

Helmet GodsAnother word or two from our overlords

This is really last weeks news, but effects linger on. And on and on and on. Basically yours truly was flung slightly into low earth orbit last Saturday evening whilst journeying home from Melb Cup on Wheels. That was an awesome nights entertainment at Vodaphone - now I'm wondering how future CI events will go up at DISC? Back to our tale of woe.

Saturday was indeed a Perfect Evening, until a kittycat ran in front of me. Yes, I had an Off - due to Avoiding A Cat. Not a road rage incident, not a clueless cager, not a 4WD or truck.

A Cat.

Chain of events: Furtive kitty darts out across Union Street as I turn towards a side street. To avoid hitting kitty, I grab a handful of brake, and a lethal combination of Salsa cyclocross levers & Shimano 600 brakes proceeded to do their duty. E
ndo on front wheel, landing directly on noggin, straight over while clipped in & falling heavily on leftside in tangled mess. The tangled mess remained prostrate on Union Street, as it had winded itself and thought it wiser to lay near the gutter and look up at the stars. After a few minutes the tangled mess got it's breath back, found the other bike shoe (still clipped into pedal), wiggled it's fingers & toes and duly discovered many things, did indeed HURT. Many many thx to Pete for being an absolute gentleman, who received my panicked SMS, doubled back & escorted moi home.

The important stuff: Bike
Tears in brand new red tape on bullhorns, the barend shifters incurred damage. BTW, does anyone tips on how to protect these plastic levers? Normal wear n' tear aside I think they're gonna end up stuffed within a relatively short period. Long rip in leather Speed-She saddle, but believe this can be repaired. Oh, and one rear pocket on sleeveless jersey ripped badly. H*lm*t could be stuffed - two dents. And the lovely Bikesoiler was up at Kona 24. So I had to sook quietly in solitude until his return on Sunday evening, and also pass on National BBQ Day @ CERES.

Hindsight: while at Vodaphone I recall briefly chattering away about how h*lm*ts may have lead to a decrease in cycling rates since they became compulsory circa 1991.

We do, we do!
Further note:
I do not believe in conspiracies or supersitions, but can have paranoid tendencies. I ask you, what's the likelihood that H*lm*t Gods overheard my offhand remarks, and then quickly conspired with the Cat Gods to directly send moi a message to Shut The Feck Up?

So it's a week on and I'm still in a World of
shit Pain. And it's my birthday today. What a delightful welcome to early middle age...feck me chocolate. want chocolate. want chocolate NOW. Cancel Christmas, I'm off the bike for at least 2-3 weeks with cracked ribs. FECK. whinge rant moan ... cfsmtb wanders off muttering incoherently and has another little rest


  • oh, happy birthday, hope you are feeling better very soon.

    I was coming down a hill in the wee hours of the morning last month when a large tabby forced me to make a similar manoeuvre. I was lucky enough however to say on my wheels. As my life flashed before my eyes I realised that in a car you fear for the cat, on a bike the situation is rather reversed.

    By Anonymous matty, at 6:29 pm, December 12, 2005  

  • Just for you, my dear. Happy birthday!

    By Anonymous j, at 7:52 pm, December 12, 2005  

  • Helmet is probably toast if you hit road with it, they are one use, that is one acident. the foam is suposed to absorb impact and it compresses but onle once.
    i got tossed off my bike on saturday when a workman tying stuff down on his truck caught my handlebars with his rope. it was my moulton which had taken 2 months to get back on the road. didn't hit my head and am only bruised and scrapped but i can empathise with your pain

    By Blogger surlysimon, at 9:33 pm, December 12, 2005  

  • Your poor poor ribs. *sigh*

    I hope that kittycat appreciated your efforts.

    By Anonymous weezil, at 9:30 am, December 13, 2005  

  • What a crappy weekend! I had a great Kona 24 Hours, but back in the city this weekend, I managed to have a off on Sat arvo and have just spent two days in hospital with a knock to the head, nasty scrapes down my left side (including face...) and a possible broken scaphoid (arm in plaster)!

    I have retrograde amnesia, so I can't evn say how it happened!

    Get well soon C, from a fellow battered cyclist.

    PS: no wonder I'm a MTBer, dirt hurts less when you crash...

    By Blogger ...mj, at 11:05 am, December 13, 2005  

  • Far oot. Everyone is coming down. Am I going to lose my crash bandicoot title before the year is up?

    Hippy belated birthday, cfsmtb.

    By Anonymous TimC, at 11:51 am, December 13, 2005  

  • Forgive my unladylike language, but this situation is truly shitful!

    Matty: watch those kittys, hope you don't encounter another situation like that. Stay safe!
    j: Just who are you? BTW, luv the chocies, you are my friend..
    SS: Another truly shitty incident, chin up, get back on the moulton soon. Is it a model made under Malvern Star license?
    Weez: Dunno, cats tend to be ungrateful little buggers. But I love them so.
    Hey, Mikey have you got folks keeping a eye on you? Require assitance? Drop us line if you need it. I'll email you this arvo with links to Kona 24 pix as well.
    TimC: Thx for the birfdee wishes, think the CB Prize is gonna be a draw btw FD and you. But hear me out, no more crashes for you ok> You hear me!

    By Blogger cfsmtb, at 1:13 pm, December 13, 2005  

  • cfsmtb
    yes mine was a malven star one, not very like that now, more a 16" wheeled single speed dualie (with brooks sadle)
    we did all seem to have a bad weekend didn't we!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    By Blogger surlysimon, at 1:22 pm, December 13, 2005  

  • drat! spit! damn!
    1. it WAS in a good cause.
    2. the CatGods did NOT conspire, it was the HelmetGods all by theirselfs.
    3. Thank the (Cat)Gods it was not your last.
    4. Thank god for SMS and solid headgear.
    5. Many Many good wishes on your birthday.
    6. I really hope you are feeling better now.

    By Blogger Brownie, at 5:43 pm, December 13, 2005  

  • Hey c, sadly in my case, my folks are in Canberra... Mum did offer to fly down, but I've put her off until I know what my situation is! (being cooped up with my mother in my one-bedroom flat for a week or more didn't sound like fun to me) I won't be riding for a while, thats for sure (and it sux! - but I'm sure that you and your ribs understand that! - what a hopeless pair we make!). Thanks for your offer - if my new ladyfriend does not come to the party, I may have to take you up on that offer! I'm going to try and make myself some leek and potato soup today, so wish me luck!

    I hope that bikesoiler is a good nurse?

    Looking forward to the pics!

    By Blogger ...mj, at 10:39 am, December 14, 2005  

  • ohhhh, mrao! Poor cfsmtb! The poor bicycle! That was a bad cat. It pains me to admit it, but some cats are bad. Oh and your birthday too!

    Happy birthday, and that cat owes you. Hope you got the chocolate you deserve.

    ps my secret Blogger code word is bbydzzl, which seems appropriate

    By Blogger Lucy Tartan, at 1:02 pm, December 14, 2005  

  • Sorry to hear your body is a bit knackered at the moment. I'm glad the cat is okay and I'm dead impressed with your avoiding him/her. Through all your pain and non-cycling annoyances, take comfort in the fact you're a very nice person indeed.

    By Blogger 3Ply Stagliano, at 6:01 am, December 16, 2005  

  • Now I've got a cold - with a nasty cough. *whinge* *sook* *moan*

    Good news though, the pain threshold has dropped.

    Was originally FECK, then dropped to OH SHIT. Now's it's AH BUGGER. Should at least be on the windtrainer this weekend so I can turn the legs over. mvutev!

    By Blogger cfsmtb, at 12:05 pm, December 16, 2005  

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