cfsmtb in low earth orbit

Saturday, June 24, 2006


Community Cup 2005 - SurefootPix of 2005 PubBUG shenanigans: Pete's as happy as a bloke with two Stouts
"You can't be a Real Country, unless you have a beer...
It helps if you have a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least, you need a BEER"
- Frank Zappa
Has everyone in Melbourne completely taken leave of their senses and became overnight futbol tifosi? Is this purely my own observation, or is this simply another take on instant 'just add water' phenomenon when Melbourne's citizens become overnight horse experts in November of each year?

Regardless, we're off to the real FOOTY tomorrow. Sacred Heart's Community Cup to be precise. So if you're in the area, look out for a bunch near middle aged of cyclist ner'do wells, standing around on the hill between the grandstand and clubrooms. Drinking GOAT. A tip: Dress warmly.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Caution! Road Signs Ahead!

SkidmarksImage courtesy of the genius of Mystery Bob

For all you budding graphic designers with mad skillz - may we present this weeks b3ta challenge. Apologies in advance if you detect potentially dodgy and/or offensive images, but it is b3ta.
" .... A new (UK) Highway Code is on its way, but they've neglected to update the most important thing: road signs. So show us how they're directing traffic in 2006..."

Thursday, June 15, 2006

cileo Twunt of the Week

a right twunt
cfsmtb management haven't awarded this illustrious award for quite a while. We haven't deemed anyone praise worthy enough. Although there's been PLENTY of competition, including the current crop of trolls currently infecting aus.bicycle with their Giant Killer Squid nonsense.

DRUMROLL ... Miranda Devine ...... COME ON DOWN !!!
Traffic hazard ahead: vegan cyclists
From the final paragraph.... But the Roads and Traffic Authority, which was also heavily influenced by Scully as transport minister, has gone from a practical and effective organisation run by engineers to a demoralised, leaderless rabble infiltrated by green activists. Instead of concentrating on building safe roads to move the most cars in the most efficient way around our city, thus reducing pollution, petrol waste, gridlock and frustration, the RTA's mantra has become "The Road is there to Share" - with the rights of cyclists, pedestrians and koalas deemed at least equal to those of motorists.

Pah! We've seen right through Miranda's insidiously cunning plagiarised? ruse - she's simply paraphased, *ahem*, borrowed a old Neil Mitchell opinion piece from two years ago. Now can we expect to see the writs flying thick and fast between News Limited and Fairfax? Or to utilise a Mel Brooks quote: “Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said”. Also we've got more news for young, deluded Miranda. We'll sooner prefer a chicken schnitzel to a pakora anyday.

Miranda! Miranda, don't go up there. Come back!

.... muffled screams in the SMH carpark as Miranda discovers it's too late to stop the Giant Killer Squid that's been lurking in her petrol tank..

Updates: Further unintended hilarity and remarks, see comments to this post for a 'apparent' exchange with a flaky Carmen Miranda hotmail spambot. Laugh? I nearly bought one!

Mentioned in despatches: Spinopsys: Editorial speed hump :: Pedaller: A Devine Joke? :: Treadly: That wacky Ms Devine :: low maintenance: Miranda Devine's Nightmare :: aus.bicycle :: Farkin ::

Friday, June 09, 2006

Not quite gone for a Tosca

Remember sharing?
If you're of a certain age you might just get the reference in the title. If not, who cares and I'm not going to explain it. So, where have we been spending our misspent time other than fiddling around with the joys of blogspot?

Short answer is, fiddling around with the joys of Wordpress. It's a marvellous platform after wrestling with blogger. And if I get ones 'proverbial in a pile', this here blog might just migrate over there too. But I've been whinging about that for ages. First up, the Bicycle Justice blog has been painstakingly given a nice scrub, polished and re-assembled at this here internerd address: The new all improved Wheels of Justice site, along with numerous other tasty morsels of information will provoke and hopefully illuminate cyclist and non-cyclist alike. This week has seen the commencement of: Get cycling on the agenda: TAC Road Safety site.

The early feedback on this initiative has been overwhelmingly positive, and in the longterm I hope it does score the result we're after. Like why do relevant authorities still maintain a piss-poor attitude towards service delivery or providing cohensive cycling information? Most of us are only too painfully aware of the comfy motherhood statements and nonsensical crap that gets trotted out time and time again to cover up the cracks or fill a void, in lieu of real legislation, awareness and education.
Parroting away
Too hard? Too hard to think past the dominant paradigm of car culture? Or is it due to a local version of the "
American Toy-Bicycle Syndrome"
The Toy-Bicycle Syndrome began in the 1950's and is based upon the concept of bicycling as children's' play activity, which in fact it largely was in the America of 1950. In the 1970's a fitness-crazed adult American public discovered the modern lightweight 10-speed bicycle and the "bike boom" began. Millions of cyclists took to the roads and panic set in with motorists and transportation planners that had long held the belief that bicycles belonged on sidewalks. Thirty years later, those same concepts prevail and control the American bicycling environment.
Salient points indeed, although I'll agree that some of the Effective Cycling material can translate as too strident. You should lurk on the Chainguard list and read the codger tanties..

This week has actually seen numerous
POSITIVE cycling articles being published in the media. Good Lord, the horror! the horror! Neil Mitchell must surely be waking from a terrible repetitive nightmare ... a huge peloton of Peter Batchelors .. all attired in matching Cipollini-style skinsuits .. bearing down on him in a certain South Melbourne carpark .... arrggggggggggg

Yes, in jolly ol' Melbourne, we're apparently in the grip of a commuter cyclist boom, the United Kingdom has undergone a revolution and Toby admits to wearing lycra in a public place. On a similar theme, I can envisage future articles with similar titles, such as .. "Me and My Baboon pants", "The Truth about Chamois" and "I was a Goth twenty years ago, now I wear Fluoro with Pride". Sadly, I''ll 'fess up and mention the last one is true.

Community Cup 2005 - Goat3Tempting a REAL Goat with a Goat Beverage. Please note: The Goat was not unduly disturbed or personal space transgressed

Three more sleeps until Split Enz. Right that's it fer now, I'm off for a tosca. Or see ya down the Community Cup with the crack PubBUG Drinking Team.