The King Farewelled

Mike McColl Jones:

"Page two. I hear Derryn outed me,' he said.

I've got a hot flash for him: It's rife up here.

Only a few minutes ago I saw Oscar Wilde holding hands with Chips Rafferty"

Annual Winter Migration of the Cats

It's heading into winter in Melbourne. Have shower, change into flannie jammies & silly slippers, make a hot cuppa. Go to snuggle up in bedi-byes. Oh, the calico's already there. She's migrated from foot of bed, to sneaking in between the doonas....

A bagful of money

As used & abused by cfsmtb management

From Tokyo to New York, Crumpler bags (Use BugMeNot.com to 'register') are a must-have for the ultra-cool. But as Renee Barnes discovered, this booming business empire had a humble birth in the back lanes of Melbourne. It was with modest ambitions that the three partners of Kensington-based bag manufacturer Crumpler started their business.

'We just wanted to be able to pay the rent and have enough for a beer at the end of the day,' says partner David Roper. To say that Crumpler has exceeded their ambitions would be an understatement. Today, Crumpler is a multimillion-dollar company and its distinctive bags are sold around the world. Roper and partners William Miller and Stuart Crumpler began their bag empire in 1999. At the time, Roper and Miller were owners of a bicycle messaging company, Minute Man, and Crumpler was a part-time employee.

Hot Boy Bike Action

Courtesy of velorution

Hey Ladiezzz, some hot boy bike action for your perusal right here: Fixed Gear Enthusiass. Can we get some saucy pix of Melbourne lads, or are you all too freakin' coy about it?

Are you a woman who rides a hot track bike or a sexy singlespeed? Are you sick of catcalls and being "objectified" while riding your bike or because you ride a bike? Has someone ever said "I can see your kitty cat" while riding your bike in a skirt and being clearly covered up? Well fear no more. This site is dedicated to girls who love biker boys and are sick of all this shit. Time to strike back.

We are currently accepting photos of men in their undies or commando (if you insist) riding some sweet wheels. Sorry, only fixie and SS photos will be posted. Please see the Submission Information page if you would like to submit photos.

More discussions via aus.bicycle thread.

Ay! KARUMBA!

Today, Velophile & the trusty Kona Travesty completed their 2130km cycling trek across the Australian continent. Todays rough plan, (according to what was mentioned last evening), was a Triumphal Entry into the township of Karumba, followed by a swift trip to the pub for seafood, beer and a massive talkshit/debrief session. Pardon the cliche but I'm so proud he completed this cycling holiday, um, er, ordeal, now he just has to re-acclimatise to Melbourne winter......cats...dogs...work... Unfortunately whilst Velophile was in the desert wilderness, I've had to deal with a freaking three-ring circus courtesy of a major 'real estate' issue. When it's all over, then maybe I'll mention something about it....or maybe not. Back to topic, a history lesson for non-Aussies; this cycling journey was a homage following in the footsteps of the tragic Burke and Wills Expedition

Terra Incognita
In 1860, Burke and Wills set out from Melbourne to travel the length of the Australian continent to the Gulf of Carpentaria. Officially named the Victorian Exploring Expedition, this venture was funded entirely by the newly independent colony of Victoria.

From Outbike: [promotional guff]

On arrival into Karumba on May 25, the riders will be welcomed by the Carpentaria Shire Mayor, Ashley Gallagher. We are in the process of organizing a musician to entertain everyone, as was done at the send off in Pt Augusta. This will all take place at Karumba Point in front of Sunset Tavern, which sounds absolutely beautiful according to the ‘Gulf Savannah - Tropical North Queensland's Outback By The Sea’ website;
“Karumba Point beach is well worth walking and the sunsets are spectacular. “
“Experience the million dollar Sunsets, over the Gulf of Carpentaria, from the grounds of the Sunset Tavern.”

Karamba Point already has an international reputation and it is expected that there will be a tourist crowd of 100+ in the area before news even gets out about the riders reaching their final destination. The local media are also likely to be waiting at the finish line – stories like these are great promotional events for towns like Karamba!

[/end promotional guff]

As I was blundering around trying to find a *little something special* to conclude Velophiles trip, this random fridge generator thingie was most fitting. I'm sure he'd agree, after over four weeks pedalling across Australia. Simply alter vultures to blowflies and steamy hot tub to hot artesian bore.



Bike n' Wheels trackback:
(Ay!) Karumba Countdown
I'm in the middle of the desert, and I've found a PUB!
Bike n' Wheels hits Mt Isa
It was bound to happen
Raining in Birdsville!
In low earth orbit around South Australia
Bike n' Wheels Expedition: Day 2
Big Desert Adventure!

Ken Avidor's Bicyclopolis

From the most recent edition of Car Busters, a macabre warning, or antidote, for our infantilised Western society. Bicyclopolis: A Journey Into the Post-Petroleum Future.

Journey to Bicyclopolis
I began my journey to Bicyclopolis in 2076, nearly 65 years after all contact with the North American continent ceased. Travel was restricted as the chaos and violence swept over North America after the "Peak Oil" year of 2006. The runaway greenhouse effect that began in 2015 spawned scores of powerful storms in the Atlantic Ocean increasing the risk to travelers. Since ships that burned fossil fuels were banned by the final Kyoto Convention of 2018, no sailing ship would attempt the dangerous Atlantic voyage to America. After the loss of radio transmissions, the fate of Americans in the Post-Industrial Era remained a mystery.

Over the decades, global warming rapidly melted the ice pack in the Arctic Ocean until safe navigation to America once again became possible. Sailing the polar route, fishermen began exploring the northern coastline of what used be called Canada. They made contact with bike nomads on the southernmost shore of James Bay in the former province of Ontario.

Bike nomads relayed a message from Bicyclopolis, a city in the interior that expressed concerns about the increasing numbers of sailing ships in Hudson Bay and requested an emissary from Europe to visit Bicyclopolis. As a precaution against what they feared might be an invasion, they required the emissary to travel to Bicyclopolis unarmed and alone.

Bicyclopolis Movie
Mall of America Ruins
Petroleum Age Artifact
Bicyclopolis Bikeshop

Timeline of Doom
Chapters: Trapped in the Desert, Suburban Marauders, Nuclear Power Plant Attacked, The Megamall in Ruins,“Can You Hear Me Now?”, Aftermath

Freed from a life in detention

But are Virginia and little Naomi truly free of Australia's incompetent immigration authorities?

Freed from a life in detention
Naomi Leong, the three-year-old girl who has spent her life in detention, left Villawood with her mother last night after the Government gave them a bridging visa to stay in Australia. The decision to release Virginia Leong and her daughter from the detention centre was unexpected but supporters believe the Government bowed to pressure over the mental health of detainees. Ms Leong, who had complained that detention was causing Naomi to bang her head against the wall, was overjoyed last night. "I am so happy now, I am so happy, I can't believe it, I am just out here, out of detention - outside!" she said. "I thought it was a trick when they gave me the forms."

Earlier inside the centre she said: "Naomi doesn't understand what is happening but I have just told her we are going to see a friend and she is excited." The office of the Immigration Minister, Amanda Vanstone, said it was not her decision to free them but her department's. A department spokeswoman said the decision followed discussions between Ms Leong, her lawyer and the department. She refused to say why they were being released.

As mother and daughter left the detention centre to spend the night at a friend's home in Parramatta, supporters presented Naomi with a pink bicycle, which she rode around in circles on the pavement. Ms Leong carried virtually no possessions, saying she had left them with other detainees.

chilout : children out of detention
Refugee Action Coalition (New South Wales)
New Matilda
Time to add some heart to the immigration shambles
Immigration Department yields to psychiatrist's requests
The Virginia and Naomi Leong Case: In the depths of despair

(Ay!) Karumba Countdown

Tonight the Bike and Wheels Expedition is camping somewhere - about - here - ish, at Bang Bang Waterhole. Image courtesy of Tageo

Day 25 to 29 - Mt Isa to Karumba
We leave Mt Isa for Lake Julius – a freshwater dam for Mt Isa Mines (120km). Heading on through Kajabbi and Coolullah we arrive on day 27 at the Burke & Wills Roadhouse. On day 29 we reach Normanton, which was established as a port for the Cloncurry copper fields, but later became Croyden’s goldrush port, its population peaking at 3000 in 1891. Our destination Karumba on the Gulf of Carpentaria is now only 70 km away (550km over 6 days).

On arrival into Karumba on May 25, the riders will be welcomed by the Carpentaria Shire Mayor, Ashley Gallagher. We are in the process of organizing a musician to entertain everyone, as was done at the send off in Pt Augusta. This will all take place at Karumba Point in front of Sunset Tavern.

Bike n' Wheels trackback:
I'm in the middle of the desert, and I've found a PUB!
Bike n' Wheels hits Mt Isa
It was bound to happen
Raining in Birdsville!
In low earth orbit around South Australia
Bike n' Wheels Expedition: Day 2
Big Desert Adventure!

(Just a prediction, but there's a stirling chance that (yet) another blog is brewing out of all this).

Slight break in (bicycle) transmission

Doctor Who premiered on Australian tee-vee on Saturday night. And I can safely vouch, Christopher Ecclestone is one deadset chick magnet. I never had a crush on any of the Doctors, Tom Baker was quirky, but weird; any early interest in the mid 70's was piqued by John Waters al a Rush. But as for Mr Ecclestone. phhooaarrrrr. noice. Hey, the penny just dropped. He has more than a passing resemblance to my lovely Velophile/Bikesoiler. With one notable exception, my blokes slightly taller and far more handsome. And this Saturday, he returns home from five weeks cycling through the Australian desert. I should be so lucky. lucky lucky lucky.


PS: Note to the lads at Unit, we arrived here from the sky, on that cream pie parked outside. Couldn't resist a Sparks reference.

Fishnets & Safety Pins

A chirpy article by Zoe Williams: My way or the highway in last Saturdays Guardian.

Forget everything you learned as a kid. If you want to cycle safely nowadays, you need a pair of fishnet stockings, a mouthful of razor blades and Zoe Williams's rules of the road.

Note, an fascinating tangent here. I know of several cyclists in their 30's - 40's who are old/ex Punks or Goths. Yes, it's the tight-fitting attire, zips, buckles, clasps, metallic finishings and almost fetishitic adherence to technology. (ssshh, I won't tell if you don't) Or maybe not. Another tangent, here's some mischievous young people from Copenhagen North: punk bike thrash battle destruction mayhem derby till death Anyway back to topic, Zoe goes on to make several pithy cycling remarks, then concludes with this killer remark:

A social observation
The kind of person who routinely prefixes "cyclist" with "kamikaze" is exactly the kind of person who prefixes "asylum seeker" with "bogus"

Now on cue, Tony Hadley shouts..........Gold!

Even the Devil Cheers

After yesterdays bout of God-bothering, may we make amends by introducing Mr Didi Senft, Devil of the Tour de France

Why the 'Devil'?
Born in 1952, Didi has long been a fan of the Tour de France. He noticed that the German television commentators would call the final kilometre of each stage 'The Red Devil's Lap':

They always called the final kilometre of a criterium [stage] the red devil's lap. I never saw a red devil, so I became one.

Velo Prayers

Image Courtesy of Adventure Cycling

Madonna del Ghisallo
Also known as: Our Lady of Ghisallo; Madonna of Ghisallo. Medieval legend says that Count Ghisallo was travelling near the village of Magréglio when he was attacked by highway bandits. Spotting a image of the Virgin Mary in a roadside shrine, he broke away from his attackers and ran to it. There he took refuge, pled for Our Lady's protection - and was miraculously saved from the robbers. As the story spread, the Madonna del Ghisallo became known as patroness of local travellers.

In more recent times, cyclists would often stop to rest and pray at the chapel, which is a local landmark, and is at the top of a steep hill. After World War II, Father Ermelindo Vigano, pastor at the shrine, proposed Ghisallo as the site of an Italian shrine for bicyclists, and she was given as patroness of cyclists on 13 October 1949 by Pope Pius XII. The chapel has become equal part religious shrine, part cycling museum, with artifacts and photos from the sport.

There is an eternal flame that burns there in memory of the cyclists of are no longer with us, and services each Christmas Eve and the Feast of All Souls commemorate them.

Patronage: bicycle riders, bicyclists, cyclists
More: God love cyclists too, holy places for cyclists


Cyclist's Prayer
Lord, I am a cyclist, Hear me pray

I am just a lowly cyclist
I have freakishly big legs and no chest
But Lord please hear my prayer
I have a few requests
Let us pray

I. O Lord give me fitness
For getting up the hills
I don’t know why I haven’t gotten faster
With my new bike, heart monitor and magic pills
I know what need to work on
It’s my sprinting, (and climbing, flats and downhills),

I hear, I promise I’ll start training
I promise, for sure, next year
Let us pray

II. O Lord grant me harmony
With my significant other
Those personal relationships
Can really be quite a bother
While I understand the problem
It should never interfere

With what we all know is important:
Riding, racing, and gear.
(For us single people: Lord find me a (chick/guy) who rides. Who is hot, and faster than my ex. Or at least someone who’ll let me take off riding. And come back and still get sex)
Let us pray


III. O Lord give me definition
In my calves and in my thighs
And grant me clearer vision
When lactic acid clouds my eyes
And for my eyes give me shades
That I wear even in dark weather
I give me lots of clingy lycra
(In fluorescent euro colours, I think it makes my butt look better)
Let us pray

IV. O Lord give me titanium
For the lightness that it brings
And carbon fiber, and 11 cogs
And new suspension fork springs
And disc brakes, and custom wheels
And two hundred dollar chainrings
And see me through my bankruptcy
When I buy too many things
Let us pray

V. And in conclusion, Lord please forgive me
When I’m dropped off the back or sucking wheel
Or when I crash in a stupid way
Like when I had that banana I was trying to peel
Or when I block people in the singletrack
(Is all that cursing for real?)
I’m trying. I’m getting better.

Now hurry up and give me a new bike.

Excuse me young man, but where's your helmet and lights?

Brrr..isbane braced for more freak storms
Brisbane is bracing itself for a second bout of thunderstorms after a freakish deluge of hail brought the city to an abrupt standstill late yesterday. The storm, which damaged homes and business and cut power to more than 7000 houses, hit without warning about 5.30pm, surprising weather forecasters and peak hour commuters. The temperature fell suddenly as up to 50 millimetres of rain and hail fell on parts of the city, producing a sludge that prompted some to make the most of the extraordinary conditions with makeshift sleds.

CityLink: As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike

Dale Maggs Motorcycle Riders Association of Australia KICKS ARSE

Big tuff leather clad bikies are planning a combined tunnel and bridge protest this evening, so hence CityStink are reduced to desperate tactics, grovelling on their Italian-suited knees, and sobbing, 'Oh pretty pretty please don't ride through our tunnel!' Can you smell the carpet burning? I can.

Stinking hypocrites, CityStink and Victoria Police have been continually threatening Critical Mass for the last six months. One day Mick, you're going have to explain those Friday night rosters to the bean counters.

But face facts, perpetuating dodgy stereotypes like seeing CM participants as inner-city dole bludging hippies et al, makes terrific *copy* for The Hun, and propels radio squawkback radio hosts into even greater conniptions. I recall reading recently, how in Australia, one can be a member of the Elites, and still rent. Oh the paradox of PR spin and corporate cointelpro bollox. There you go, Harriet, now I must get some rest.

CityLink begs bikies to halt protest
CityLink has pleaded with motorcyclists to call off a protest ride during tonight's peak hour. Protest organisers say hundreds, even thousands, of motorcyclists will rally on the steps of Parliament House before riding through the city, across the Bolte Bridge and through the Burnley Tunnel to protest against proposed tolls on motorbikes. Last week, CityLink revealed it hoped to use new technology to begin tolling motorcycles. Riders would pay half the amount charged to other motorists and be given a 90-day grace period to adapt to the new rules.

The Motorcycle Riders Association immediately threatened to stage a protest ride if CityLink management did not meet with them this week. Yesterday CityLink head of operations Bruce Anderson offered to meet with motorcyclists "in coming weeks''.

I'm in the middle of the desert, and I've found a PUB!

May 10: Arrival at Birdsville, Velophile and the Kona Travesty celebrating their good fortune

Just received several lovely piccies from Velophile. All praise the internet cafes of Mt Isa! Thats cheered me up considerably. I'll post them up on flickr soon-ish.

UPDATE: Flickr Gallery, look to your left. Also this just appeared via ABC Online.
Cyclists head north on across-Aust trek
A group of amateur cyclists has arrived in the far south-west of Queensland on a gruelling journey peddling across Australia. The 35 cyclists are part of the Bike and Wheels Expedition - travelling 2,000 kilometres from the Spencer Gulf in South Australia to Queensland's Gulf of Carpentaria. One of the organisers, Ralph Jackson, says the group will set out from Birdsville today, heading north to Bedourie, Boulia, Mount Isa and up to the gulf.

He says at the half-way point most riders are enjoying the experience. "Half the riders would be people over 60 or 70...so that's where the typical rider is...mostly retired blokes, it's actually a good holiday...you need to pad up your handlebars...but just being out there in the landscape, you hear things, you see things that you don't pick up when you drive," he said.

Freeway Hustle

Subject: If your boyfriend's a Republican, I want you. Now.
From: Freewayblogger

Text of my Personals Ad on Craigslist. Up for ten hours before they pulled it.

If your boyfriend's a Republican, I want you. Now.I don’t care how old you are, how much you weigh or what you look like. I don’t care if you like cuddling by the fire or being slathered in mayonnaise with a clown mask on. So long as you have a significant other who cares for you deeply and voted for Bush, I can promise you without hesitation the very best sex you will ever, ever have: brain-scrambling, soul-shattering, scream-to-the-heavens sex that will leave you not only walking funny, but mumbling incoherently for days. And believe me, it’ll be nowhere near as good for you as it will be for me.

This offer not valid to married or underage women or those with boyfriends currently serving in Iraq. They’ve been screwed enough.

More shenanigans on Freewayblogger.com Free Speech: Use It or Lose It

Crouching Dawg, Hidden Cat

Little did she know, to escape from danger, could be as simple as a hop skip jump over the kitchen table...

Oh the joys of residing with a virtual menagerie. I've ended up temporally crippled due an almost balletic altercation in the kitchen. Desperate Cat wants to be fed. Dog is 17yo, blind, 20kg+. Cat darts toward fridge. Dog gets in way. Well I can't place any blame on her. Human caught up in the melee, struggles not to cause injury to animals. Trips, backs into heavy hardwood table. Achilles tendon takes most of the impact. I've found swearing a blue streak usually helps to divert the pain, but this time I was literally simultaneously screaming and spitting. Oh well. At least I can ride a bike better than walking presently. What makes it worse is I firmly believe the Other Cat saw it all, and has been laughing at me. Bitch.

Bike n' Wheels hits Mt Isa

There's that ruddy great big chimney Velophile just mentioned

Day 21 to 24 - Boulia to Mt Isa
This road is also sealed to Mt Isa (300km in 3 days) and we camp two nights enroute. Mt Isa is the biggest town on our trip, so enjoy a day off to get back in contact with the rest of the world.

Proclamation: Mt Isa has MOBILE COVERAGE
Text message: Mt Isa has mobile service! And shops! Glad for rest day tomorrow. Where's the pub?

Good to see Velophiles got his priorities straight. So I gave him a congratulatory phone call to celebrate his good fortune. More: Mt Isa is a Thriving Metropolis, A Retail Paradise, Has Vegetation, A Very Big Chimney And Possible Broadband. Yes, someones been in the desert too long, but they had a crackin' wind assisted ride in from Boulia.

This Wednesday arvo, participants of Bike n' Wheels are organising a 'Drag Race' a la Priscilla style.

Darling, it's a Mining Town. Take care.....

Bike n' Wheels trackback:
It was bound to happen
Raining in Birdsville!
In low earth orbit around South Australia
Bike n' Wheels Expedition: Day 2
Big Desert Adventure!

GET WELL SOON KYLIE!!!!

Kylie has breast cancer
Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer and has been forced to postpone her Australian Showgirl tour. The following statement was issued by her management:

'Whilst at home in Melbourne with her family this week prior to her Australian Showgirl tour, Kylie was diagnosed with early breast cancer. She will undergo immediate treatment and consequently her Australian tour will not be able to proceed as planned.'

Minogue said today: 'I was so looking forward to bringing the Showgirl tour to Australian audiences, and am sorry to have to disappoint my fans.

'Nevertheless, hopefully all will work out fine and I'll be back with you all again soon.'

Hey, I'll admit I'm not much of a fan of your music, but we're the same age and unfortunately entering that stage of life where health concerns become all too apparent. And, as I can personally vouch from recent health experiences, rather fucking scary. God bless you sweetie!

Nice work from Honda

One catch though, can drivers be re-trained to take full opportunity of these new features? Like adhering to speed limits, road laws and utilising grace and common sense. Suppose that's bit of an ask though. Back to topic, the shortpants look uncannily like knicks. Or is that pure co-incidence?

Honda - Pedestrian Safety
In keeping with Honda's "Safety for Everyone" concept, future Honda models will also incorporate Honda's latest thinking in pedestrian-friendly body design. New models will take advantage of industry-leading pedestrian-safety research conducted at Honda's state-of-the-art crash-test facility in Tochigi, Japan. Already, more than two million U.S. Honda and Acura vehicles, including the 2005 Accord, Civic, CR-V, Element and Pilot, along with the 2005 Acura RL, RSX, TSX and TL, are equipped with a number of these features. They include specially designed hood frame construction, hood hinges, front-frame construction and breakaway wiper pivots. Honda has independently developed the most advanced pedestrian test dummy in the world, called POLAR II. With unique, human-like joint structures, instruments in POLAR II measure the level of injury in eight regions, including the head, neck, chest, abdomen and legs.

Meanwhile, back to Australia's nice safe roads...

Coroner attacks 'comfort zone' of 4WDs
Owners of four-wheel-drive vehicles have a "sense of superiority" and act like they think "they've made it", according to evidence before a Sydney coroner investigating the death of a five-year-old girl. Bethany Holder was run over and killed by a red Nissan Patrol with a bullbar inside the grounds of Pittwater House School at Collaroy, on Sydney's northern beaches three years ago. "We see these types of vehicles involved in pedestrian deaths far too often," said senior deputy state coroner Jacqueline Milledge on the opening day of the inquiry in Glebe Coroners Court.

After hearing evidence from road-safety expert Raphael Grzebieta, Ms Milledge criticised the way some drivers of 4WDs behaved. "What happens to them? They get in and there is a comfort zone, a sense of superiority. They are above it all," she said. Dr Grzebieta said there was a status aspect to the attitude of 4WD owners. "They've made it if they've got a 4WD. It's a status symbol," he told the inquest. "Really, in the urban areas we do not need bullbars." He called for 4WD drivers to undergo extra training and be tested for a special licence. Bethany's mother, Lisa Holder, described a recent Nissan advertisement offering a free bullbar with every Nissan Patrol as "repulsive". "I don't think it's appropriate in metropolitan Sydney to be giving away free bullbars. There are other options available to them such as CD stackers and airconditioning." Senior Constable Aram Kraefft told the inquiry that only staff vehicles should be allowed in school grounds. Constable Kraefft said Mrs Waterhouse probably would not have been able to see Bethany over the bonnet of her 4WD. The front of the Nissan Patrol was 110cm high and Bethany was only 102cm tall. Outside the court, Bethany's father, Daniel Holder, asked for all cars to be banned from school grounds. The inquiry continues today.

Repulsive is only one aspect. Dangerous, idiotic, arrogant, pig ignorant also come to mind. Discussion here: Coroner says: 4WD licence!! on aus.bicycle. See you tomorrow at the Melbourne ::Ride of Silence::. Two rides, Black Rock and Fed Square.

Nuding Up!

Image from a nuddie ride in Spain. Reckon this discreet change in tactics would frighten Mick Williams away? *giggle*

Naked protesters cycle into strife
A pack of nude cyclists rode through Brisbane's city centre yesterday to protest the Brisbane City Council's proposed north-south bypass tunnel. But the group's ride was cut short when police arrested four people for wilful exposure. A spokesman for the protest group Communities Against the Tunnel said it was only the beginning of a long campaign to get ratepayers debating the tunnel's benefits. "These tunnel plans are actually going to increase the amount of traffic in the city in the long term," a protester who gave his name only as Alex said. "We just think the tunnel is a really silly idea and we would like to encourage the residents of Brisbane to think what they could do with $7 billion." He said Brisbane should follow Paris and London's lead in trying to eliminate cars in the city centre. (More in article)

"A pack" Surely Brisbane journos must have some comprehension of cycling terminology? How about "bunch" or "peloton?" Lazy work indeed. I'm miffed that last evenings ABC and Ten news items were pixellated so not to offend Sunday teatime sensibilities. Its not fair, several pairs of baps were exhibited, but male bits discreetly fuzzed out. The viewing public should have every opportunity to perve on strapping gentlemen cyclists with the night tools out. As a Lady, I believe the news post-production was extremely sexist. Letter writing in progress.

More on the local campaign in Brissie: Road Tunnels for Brisbane
Can Brisbane afford Underground Cross River Road Tunnel/s?

The Port of Melbourne Authority attempt to nick bike path:Anger at port plan to close off waterfront (Use BugMeNot.com to 'register')
Crapped off? Then contact these folks: Maribyrnong Bicycle Users Group: mazzabug@hotmail.com
Maribyrnong Council, Request for Service and Feedback Form
Email: email@maribyrnong.vic.gov.au
Bicycle Victoria
Email: campaigns@bv.com.au
Port of Melbourne Corporation, Contact PoMC
Email: information@portofmelbourne.com


Meanwhile, in the northern hemisphere.....World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) - I see painted naked people on bicycles!
Back here in Aus: World Naked Bike Ride Australia

The ultimate Alley Cat sprint?
Through the city at nearly the speed of light
Driving at nearly the speed of light? Impossible in real life, but feasible in a computer simulation: A tour through the city centre of Tübingen illustrates what we should see when moving at such a high speed.

Road to Hell

Lack of transport helps tollway
Toll road junta bosses are banking on continuing poor public transport in Melbourne's east to boost their bottom line coffers. ConnectEast gleefully told investors that limited alternatives to EastLink made it a immensely sound investment indeed. The EastLink toll road will give paying fleeced drivers a clear 40km run traffic sewer from Frankston to Mitcham when it opens sesame in 2008. The State Government said yesterday it had already agreed to give away invest $200 million in improving running down public transport in the region. But $167 million of that is to be spent running an ineffectual bus service at $4.4 million a year -- for 38 years. Sucked in! However Opposition transport minion spokesman Terry Mulder said Victorians were being forced on to the road by the road lobby stealth. "The lesser the investment by the State Government, the greater the opportunity for ConnectEast," Mr Mulder said. Der fred.

It was bound to happen

Sooner or later. Or perhaps even sooner. People on bicycles riding across the wilds of central Australia and *presto*. The blokes revert to form and start cross-dressing.

Current Ride Gallery: Day 17 to 20 - Birdsville to Boulia
We’ll ride 370km over 4 days with Bedourie village halfway. Seal and dirt alternate, with about 100km dirt. Famous for a version of the camp oven, Bedourie is the administrative centre for the huge Diamantina Shire Council. Boulia is the ‘capital’ of the Channel Country, and home to a mysterious phenomenon known as the Min Min Light. Watch out for UFOs at night.


Pure class, huh?

The Bike n' Wheels Expedition hits Boulia tonight, but in all likelihood, the riders have a higher probability of witnessing the mysterious Min Min lights, instead of the shy and elusive Night Parrot. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Shall we combine the two? na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na..................

hippy hits london

Taaaaammmmykkaaaaaa

Leaving on a jet plane, oh wait up, he's already arrived at Heathrow. By all accounts he doesn't like the exchange rate either. For our London/UK viewers, hippy's a lovely chap from Melbourne via Mildura. We can vouch that he drinks beer & obsesses incessantly about bicycles. Likes cats too. Check his blog for more details.

To Tell Or Not To Tell - The Bush Bike Ride Controversy

Ah, shucks, I'll rather be out picking a line on some sweet singletrack.....
Image from the My Pet Goat incident on September 11 2001.

To Tell Or Not To Tell - The Bush Bike Ride Controversy
I watched the White House press briefing Scott McClellan gave on the recent plane incident at the White House. The liberal reporters were frantically asking questions that obviously were designed to "trap" McClellan into saying something that could be used in a negative way about the incident. Unable to find anything substantial amiss in the procedures used to evacuate the White House or the Capitol, now the press has turned to what "didn't" happen while President Bush was enjoying a bike ride during the "crisis": The Secret Service didn't tell George Bush about the happenings until after he finished his ride.

Ah faaaark

Off to the movies!

And what a movie! Starts at Cinema Nova next week. Only 52 or so sleeps until Le Tour 05, with 4 live stages being shown on SBS. w00t!

For some, it's just a bike race....For others, it's Hell on Wheels

Nothing is more rigorous and torturous than one of the world's most famous races, Le Tour de France. Covering over 3,500 kilometres of slopes, plains and mountains, the century-old sport is attended by over two billion on TV worldwide. Hell on Wheels presents to us a history of the tour, including the gigantic organisation needed each year to hold the event. But the focus is on the men - their pain, their fears and their victories and losses, all told with unflinching clarity. The trials and tribulations of Erik Zabel and Rolf Aldag from Germany are, in fact, just as fascinating a tale as the best fictional dramas.

Raining in Birdsville!

obviously not doing that here....

Quick message from sweetie, Bike n' Wheels has arrived in Birdsville! And, surprise, it's raining! Latest Weather Observations for Birdsville

He mentioned far too many cars, 4WD's and horse on the track. Apparently it was the "Great Australian Outback Cattle Drive", with suspiciously few cattle. So much for days of yore, such as those depicted in the Australian classic, Back of Beyond, More details tomorrow, it's a rest day for the ride. Adelaide photos of riders here. (Velophile is a tall handsome gentleman lurking in the background ;))

Update: This evening, participants of the Outbike tour held the inaugural "Bike n' Wheels Birdsville Dash". Which basically involved a bog lap of the 'town centre', pitstop for beer at the Birdsville Pub, then a mad sprint to the finish line down the main street. And the winner was.....Velophile!!! He put his winning form down to the dedicated training done via singlespeeding & beer at the Dirt Crits.
Bike n' Wheels trackback:
In low earth orbit around South Australia
Bike n' Wheels Expedition: Day 2
Big Desert Adventure!





May 11: Hi sweetie
In Birdsville, net connection very slow. Rest day today, usual guff, clean bike and do laundry.

Been to pub last night, late night really. The Track north from Mungeranie was OK until we turned off onto the "inside track" less used & maintained. Meant to be more scenic. Yesterday was the sort of country I thought we'd see more of. Sandhills and deserty looking. Hard riding through soft silty crap on the road. Glad to have the day off today. Off to search for coffee now. Missing you and animals a bit. Love xxx

cfsmtb note: the animals are now taking advantage of the home situation. Colder weather in Melbourne = start of the annual cat migration from foot of bed to pillow, culminating in burrowing behavior at say, about, 3am. Dog now getting hot water bottle & tucked into kennel. Well, she is 17+



May 2: Hi sweetie, I just got into Marree. The old Ghan station has been set up as a net/computer centre. Slow connection but it works. Bit of a shit day for me today, never felt right. Like I was dehyrated or getting a cold or something. Felt better after lunch. Don't think I was dehydrated though, stopped for wiz after arvo stop. The road didn't help. Flat & straight, rough and dusty with stinking head wind. I hope the road to Birdsville has a few more hills. Anyway, recap. 29th Friday. Did bugger all on the rest day at Angorchina. Laundry and cleaned the bike. Ended up working on about 3 other bikes. Got beer for the work though :)


30th Sat'dy. Down the hill to Parachilna, rough and corrugated, threw the chain 3 times, f*ck it, greasy fingers again. The last few kms to Para was a scream, tail wind, slight down hill, weee!

Turned right and north to Beltana. Bitumen run for 20 odd km before leaving the highway again for 17km to Beltana station. Stayed in shearers quarters, not bad room.


Flashbacks from Sunday Too Far Away 1st Sun'dy. Early rise for some stoopid reason. Toilet probably. Though nearly last to leave after making coffee for the morno stop. 3 plungers fill two thermos's.



Some average road but good views for 17km to the highway, then zoom on bitumen to morno :) Not far from Leigh Creek. Got some post cards there and on to Copley bakery for lunch. Kanga pie, drink their Quandong pie and coffee, first decent coffee since...... a longtime.


'Twas better than the one in Adelaide. Bit of a tail wind on way to Lyndhurst. Ride with Allen, older ex-racer type. sit on ~25 - 30 at least for the whole way. Straight to pub for beers on arrival :) Good room in pub tonight too :)) OK gotta go. I'll call tonight. Will try to burn some photos here too.
Love xxx

Training wheels for tryhards

Recalling a wonderful bit of Anecdotal Evidence from young Fred. Must catch up with the Fredster for a bevvie or two one day. Huzzah for Google Groups.

When, umm, a person I know, was a law school, he/she noticed that all the dynamic I'm-going-to-change-the-world 1st years riding their bikes to lectures had switched over to rice-rockets or baby beemers by the time 5th year rolled round.

Hmmm. I guess, post-graduation, you get a vehicle that makes a statement. And, if that statement is "I seriously don't give a f#ck about anyone or anything else in the world except for me", nothing says it more eloquently than a full-size 4WD/SUV.

Renewal of Australia Cycling: National Cycling Strategy - two minutes help needed, please!

Renewal of Australia Cycling - the National Cycling Strategy
The draft new National Cycling Strategy is up for public comment, but only until Monday (16th May).
The introduction is full of wonderful words about the importance of having a national cycling strategy and that what makes countries' strategies successful is dedicated funding and an implementation plan. This strategy has neither and shows only the total lack of commitment by the Commonwealth Government.

We need much more if the country is to benefit from health (and health budget), greenhouse gas emissions, air quality and other government, community and individual advantages of increased cycling. It will take you just a minute to put a comment in the first box, “Overall Strategy” to say it must include funding, targets, an implementation plan and more involvement from other Commonwealth departments. If you like you can take the time to rate and comment on the “Key Actions” further down the page. Then "submit".

If you want to know more, see Cycling Promotion Alliance or National Cycling Strategy Draft if you want to read the draft strategy (863kb).

It is crucial that we have a decent national cycling strategy - one that will actually deliver and lead to increases in cycling – for everyone's benefit.

Happy Mothers Day

Due to reader demand, here's a picture of the worlds greatest ever female cyclist. The one, the only Beryl Burton. She's an superb example for today. She struggled against illness as a child, family conflicts, and amazed all with legendary physical feats of endurance in a male-dominated sport. Her incredible achievements were largely ignored by her own country. She died doing the thing she loved the most.

This Mothers Day, together with Australia's great Irene Plowman, we salute the magnificent Beryl Burton.