cfsmtb in low earth orbit

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


BicycleWheelClock2Click image to enlarge. If you dare.

Obligatory happy, cheery, diversional therapy post. I spied this glorious piece of tat via the local "Warehouse" shoppe. It's wonderfully crappy, comes in four fetching colour schemes, is a guaranteed head turner, witty conversation item, and an prime example of form over actual function.

.. Introducing the 18" Bicycle Wheel Quartz Wall Clock ..

  • Radial spoking!
  • Tells the time 24/7!
  • 18" alloy rim!
  • Matching two-tone tread with bonus inner tube. Value!
  • Hard wearing "Quartz" hub! More value!
  • Clock hands are a little shifter & screwdriver - with bonus glow-in-the-dark stuff. Bonus!
  • Did we mention spokey-dokes! Well it's got spokey-dokes for the numerals 12, 3, 6 and 9!
  • Attractive metal plate thingie masquerading as disc rotor. I think!
  • It cost me 30 quid because I get easier distracted by shiny bike stuff!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Big Picture Stuff

Given the recent direction of numerous aus.bicycle threads about cyclist behaviour, awareness and necessary skills, I thought this following link provided by Mighk Wilson (author of "Bicyclists, Motorists and the Language of Marginalization") via the Bicycling Advocacy list might provide further insights, heads up or even broaden discussion.
The Social and Emotional Aspects of Transportation Cycling. by Bruce A. Mol
The social aspects of transportation cycling include personal and societal responsibilities. The personal responsibilities are the physical requirements needed to ensure the safety of self and society. The societal responsibilities include communication, courtesy and contribution.

The emotional aspects of transportation cycling include the context or presumptions under which cyclists engage with traffic and development of emotions and concern for self and society, to cope with traffic.

Together, the development of a cyclists social and emotional understanding of traffic leads to an eloquent cycling style that clearly communicates with other road users and is, by itself, a persuasive argument for the need and benefits of integrating cycling into societal norms of acceptable transportation.
In his original email, (of which I'm inclined to agree), Mighk posed the question of how a potential survey could score cyclists on the two axes, instead of the set categories. I appreciate the emphasise in this article upon societal responsibilities of transportation/utility cyclists, rather than pushing a punitive approach, or even trying to impart an attitude of "cyclist inferiority".

Friday, August 25, 2006

Cat. Pigeons. Throw.

Yes, please do so

Our 2 cents worth on the Gotcha blog palavar. Nine pages. 260+ comments. Us vs. Them. Two Wheeled Locusts vs. Demented Cagers. Now I'm going back to sleeeeppppp. Probably for most of the weekend.
" .. After quickly perusing these 260+ comments, numerous individuals need to be reminded that under AustRoads regs, cyclists ARE legally road traffic. No if’s, buts or odd personal logic comes into it. Refer to AustRoads (Australian Road Rules: December 1999) if you’re in doubt about the legality of cycling on the roads.

One observation - it’s easier to to scapegoat and demonise a cyclist or pedestrian as they’re not usually cocooned away in a metal shell. Invariably, the perception of cyclists being a high risk on the roads is simply NOT borne out when reading crashstats. Check the statistics for yourself via the RTA to TAC websites, or even find them for your state.

Like Miranda Devines recent criticism of pedestrians and cyclists being somehow in a “invisible shield of righteousness”, many of these illogical perceptions are too easy to maintain, rather than having the self awareness, or indeed, the self control to modify YOUR own behaviour. Be that cyclist, ped or indeed, motorist.

And as cycling is on the rise due to increased petrol prices, maybe it’s more benefical we all step back from the cant, rant and childish hyperbole. Afterall, the motoring industry got it’s start from technology developed by cycling back the in 19th century. We’re currently experiencing another change in transportation technology. My advice is get used cycling becoming yet again a “normalised” activity .. "

Monday, August 21, 2006

Temporarily Offline for Maintenance

Arrrggggg, steer clear of me lateral stays!
"cfsmtb: cyclist. A woman barely alive."

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild her. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic anarcho-cyclist. cfsmtb will be that woman. Better than she was before. Better … stronger … faster ... even more stroppy"

Off to the human LBS* equivalent for an retrofit and overhaul. No hGH, THG or EPO has been implicated at this late stage, but therapeutic cloning a very real possibility.

(*Local bike shop, code for "hospital")

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Blast from the past

Errr sorry about last weekend, maybe the hair of the dog will make me feel better

Teehee, I should really be x-posting this to the circus on Here's a little blast from the past, the American voiceovers are an absolute pisser :: Mad Max trailer ::

It would be serious cool to do a sustainable transport friendly mashup version, with plenty of references to peak oil, ie: replace the motos to CT110's, the V8 Interceptor with a Prius, lots of bicycles and happy smiley people being oh-so-terribly-nice to each other in the streets. And replace Mel with someone else ...

Although, if your inhouse budget doesn't run to totally reshooting the scenes, you could have a lot of mirth re-voicing it all or even redubbing the soundtrack with Negativland, Sparks or Rogers and Hammerstein ... Fight the dystopian nightmare with a bit of whimsical silliness.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Big Jonny down

Brace yourself my dear, we bear bad news from the US of A
Dear loyal readers,
Sad news on the DC front. The man himself, Big Jonny, was struck by an automobile on his way back from the Saturday group ride and is currently in the hospital with multiple lumbar fractures (fortunately, no paralysis) and severe road rash. Big Jon was legally in the bike lane at approximately 12:15pm and was hit squarely from behind on an uphill section of the road by a sedan traveling approximately 55mph. The driver left the scene but has now been apprehended and charged with felony hit and run due to the diligence and efforts of multiple other drivers on the road who witnessed the collision.

Jon is currently in good spirits and is expected to make a full recovery. An unforeseen, yet fortuitous, byproduct of this horrific incident has been the opportunity to have numerous conversations with Jon while he is under the influence of numerous pain killers.
Fucksocks!!!! A huge **Get Well Swiftly** goes out from this household to Jonny. Certainly will be having a few bevvies to his recovery.
Snake: “So is there anything you need?”
Big Jon: “Three Asian girls would be great.”
DC - typically non-PC as ever, but he's gonna be angry, angry, angry when he gets back online. You can help quell that anger by bypassing Jonny's overflowing email inbox, and instead, conveniently post a cheery message on the DC forum.

Friday, August 04, 2006

I must drink beer

I must drink beer. Beer is the mind-killer. Beer is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my beer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the beer has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

.. must .. vent .. spleen .. now ..

Fig. 1: Here we go... anarchy, anarchy, anarchy, anarchy, anarchy... Anarchy means crossing when it says 'Don't Walk'. The end.

... And if you're of a certain age you may know the rest of those lyrics. The subject of red-light running came up again during a lunch meeting on Wednesday. I know it's been discussed time and time again and we're all bored shitless with the topic .. but after lunch, with this topic still on my mind, I witnessed a cyclist almost get cleaned up.

Actually that's a poor choice of words, if he got whacked by the vehicle barrelling through on the opposing amber light, instead of merely having the living shit scared outta him (and nearby observers) the ambos could of been scrapping/hosing him off the road and nearby surfaces.

Now in Melbourne, and probably several other places around the nation, amber unfortunately translates to
accelerate like fuck to warp drive and miss the red. I think that behaviour is crap and the revelant road authorities should pick up on that point in regards to driver education. But that's another story. Back to cyclists bustin' reds. Consider this - if amber means floor it to a driver - then WTF jump a red light? Peruse further sparkling conversation on aus.bicycle regarding this thought-provoking topic.