The TRUTH about Cats

Mr HBC chillin' in the foyer of Chateau D'Star

Cats are elegant, sensual, dignified, mysterious........SLOBS!!!!

Ok its been a harsh couple of days, have plenty of bike stuff to blog about. But's a glorious day & all those cycling morsels can wait another day. Back soon.

Black and White Boy

Aussie rock legend found dead
Hester, 46, the father of two young girls, failed to return from walking his two dogs, Stan and Rose, on Saturday night. Police later found his body in Elsternwick park near his Melbourne home. They said there were no suspicious circumstances and friends said they had been unaware of Hester having been depressed.

Sadly, the dream is over for rock's joker
Paul Newell Hester was an Australian character. A larrikin of the first order. And a bloody good drummer.

Like many other Enz and Crowdies fan, I'm staring blankly at a computer and listening to the last Crowdies album. Just don't how to make any sense of Pauls death. Suicide is so irrational.

RockWiz's Brian Nankervis said: "He could be everything and anything in one go. He had a lightning wit, he could be wonderfully sensitive, clever and unpredictable."

Last week, while we were watching the credits of Spicks & Specks, I saw Noel Crombie credited with set design. Started thinking of all that incredibly talented Split Enz/Crowdies tribe, like Tim Finn, Phil Judd, Eddie Rayner, Paul Hester...what are they up to now?

Still so young to travel so far, old enough to know who you are, wise enough to carry the scars, without any blame, there's no one to blame

Paul, you made a difference. You made us laugh. Tragically, you've got all of us crying now.

Later updates: The Age, Paul Hester articles + links

The Finn Brothers - Message from Neil, Mon, 28 Mar 2005

"It was with deepest sadness and shock that I learned yesterday of the passing away of one of my closest friends, Paul Hester. Nick Seymour will be joining Tim and me here in London today to share our grief. The Finn Brothers shows this week at the Royal Albert Hall will go ahead as we don't know what else to do at this time other than to be with those closest to us and Paul and to play music to remember him by. Our hearts go out to Mardi, Sunday, Olive and all of Paul's family."

Fans should keep checking this website www.finnbros.com for news on the rest of the Finn Brothers tour. For fans wishing to share their feelings with each other a special forum has been set up on the frenz.com site

Handmade Bicycle Show 2005

Not getting enough retro-grouch 'woolly sock' cycling action?


Over-priced plastic bikes no longer float your boat?


Well, waste time here, gratuitous perving completely acceptable: Handmade Bicycle Show 2005 - Tokyo

Have a lovely Easter folks!

Bicycle Land

Giant kitty rampages through Sydneys west on a quest for bloody revenge, possible sightings in Victoria and South Australia soon. Image courtesy of Dalliance

Sydney: Youth pleads guilty to kitten attack
A teenager who tortured a kitten at a Sydney railway station pleaded guilty today to aggravated cruelty to an animal. The 15-year-old, from Old Toongabbie in Sydney's west, was one of three youths accused of the attack on an eight-week-old kitten at Seven Hills railway station on January 16. The kitten's leg was broken after it was twice run over with a bicycle, stomped on and stoned. It also suffered a range of internal injuries.

Here's wishing for a giant b3ta kitten hunting down the little scrot, and doing an absolute job on his sorry arse.

Melb: Circus act in hospital
A Circus performer was rushed to hospital in Melbourne last night after falling seven metres from the highwire he was riding a bicycle on. Argentinian performer Enrique Gustavo Barralle Martinez, 31, was balancing his sister, Viviana, on his shoulders when he fell to the floor in front of an audience of about 350 people at Circus Royal.

Mr Martinez, a speedy recovery to you!

WA: Tour de Broome
You'd look sweet, upon the seat of a bicycle built for...four? Mark Wilson, Kayla Mindarl, Wade Freeman, and Ushan Boyd explore the limits of tandem bicycle possibilities at the Tour de Broome.Pedal power on the highways & by-ways. With the latest figures on per capita rates of car ownership putting Australia second only to the USA, it relaxed the lungs some what to see a bicycle event in Broome attract great support.

Tassie: Relax, Joe's got the idea
When he was a child, Joe Askey-Doran would experiment with a pulley device in his bedroom to turn out the light without leaving his bed.Little wonder he's the toast of TV's The New Inventors, and won the viewers' prize last night for his revolutionary and incredible Anchor Hammock. And there could be more to come. He's working on a very special new type of bicycle, which is a bit hush-hush right now. Among his previous inventions is a three-flanged bicycle wheel for street racing. It's hardly surprising he invented such a device, given his background in cycling. A decade ago he was a leading amateur cyclist in France and won the French time trial championship.

We're working on something a little special too, can't say too much though.

Bicyclists hoping to hit Critical Mass
In Modesto's first Critical Mass bicycle ride in February 2004, about 25 riders and a couple of skateboarders participated in the event. Here, bicycle riders take an eco-friendly approach to Needham Street. Bicycle riders in Modesto want respect, starting with courteous treatment from motorists; and, as long as we're dreaming, say Brian Robinson and Doug Gilbert, a few more bicycle lanes would be nice, too. Robinson and Gilbert are working to put together a mass bicycle ride Friday afternoon, known as 'Critical Mass.' 'Basically,' said Robinson, 'we're trying to give Modesto an eco-friendly approach to transportation in the city. 'There are a lot of people who ride bikes in Modesto who tell us there aren't enough bike lanes. People are frustrated about the way bike riders are treated (by motorists).'

Meares a marked woman at cycling titles
Olympic champion Anna Meares is happy to find herself a marked woman at the track cycling world championships starting in Los Angeles on Friday. The 21-year-old Australian has discovered Olympic success makes her a target, with international competitors working on strategies to blunt the lightning speed that helped earn her the 500m time trial gold medal in Athens.

We were lucky enough to catch the 2004 UCI Track Cycling World Championships in Melbourne, more here about the 2005 Track Championships in Los Angeles.

Armstrong doubtful for Brabantse Pijl
Discovery's sporting director Dirk Demol has told the Belgium Press that Lance Armstrong is unlikely to ride the Brabantse Pijl. Demol, who looks after the Northern racing scene for the team, explained that Lance's participation was doubtful due to the American's decision to ride this year's Tour.

So much for ditching Le Tour to concentrate on the Classics, huh? No. 7 in the works?

Stuffing around Victoria

Possible 'Malcolm' homage in Williamstown Road
A car was split in half and wreckage spread down a Melbourne street after a collision tonight. Two drivers involved in the crash escaped with minor injuries and have been taken to hospital. But police are seeking witnesses to the accident and are appealing to members of a football team believed to be training at Port Melbourne when the accident happened. Police said a dark coloured Holden Commodore was travelling west along Williamstown Rd about 8.10pm (AEDT) when it struck another Commodore, which was turning right into Beacon Rd. The second car was split in half and police said the wreckage was strewn 30m away.

Ok, for those who came in late, yes, we're talking about Malcolm and that now famous getaway car split. This inadvertent reenactment wasn't as amusing, luckily the occupants only incurred minor injuries. Sadly, unlike this Easter weekend to come...

Police call for zero holiday toll
Four people died on Victorian roads yesterday as police and emergency service workers pleaded for motorists to take extra care during Easter. Assistant Commissioner (Traffic) Bob Hastings said the past week had been a disaster. 'We had eight people die over a three-day period from last weekend and the weather was fine. Why is it these things occur?' Mr Hastings challenged drivers to make this Easter fatality-free.

Hope your wish comes true, Bob. But unfortunately, crushing reality has stacked it's odds against it.


Naming and blaming launches tollway
It will be easier to find in the Melway. That's one of the reasons Premier Steve Bracks gave yesterday for the latest renaming of the troubled arterial formerly known as the Scoresby freeway. At a ceremony peppered with interruption by protesters, Mr Bracks and Transport Minister Peter Batchelor were shouted down as they announced the tollway's new name, EastLink.

I'll give you a tip, the end result will be easier to find on Melways 44 E3.

Congestion tax ruled out
Australia's capital city councils have ruled out a London-style congestion tax to discourage motorists from entering our already crowded CBDs. Perth already has a quasi version, otherwise known as the Perth Parking Management Area, but Brisbane Lord Mayor Campbell Newman was elected last year on a platform opposing a congestion tax and in Sydney and Melbourne there's little interest in taxing motorists to keep them out of the CBD.

So government isn't going to follow the lead of Red Ken, but going to charge tolls on 'Eastlink' (that's the funky nu name for Mitcham-Frankston for you plebs) and possibly the Pacific Highway? Ok, lets just keep monkeying around the issues....


Urban brawl
The State Government's 2030 blueprint for Melbourne's growth is under assault. Does it reflect how people want to live - or is it an attempt at social engineering? Royce Millar examines the evidence. In 1954 the Metropolitan Board of Works - the city's town planners at the time - declared that Melbourne's die had been cast.

"It must be accepted,'' the board concluded, that with 50 per cent of Melburnians owning their own homes and 90 per cent living in detached housing, suburban living was "the general desire here''. It went on: "Any attempt to impose some other form of living upon people, however good the intentions and however sound the reasons, will certainly meet with failure.'

Fifty years on, the argument that Melburnians are somehow rusted on to their lawnmowers and Holdens has returned to dog the Bracks Government in its attempt to reshape the city.

Like the Board of Works, Birrell believes the suburbs are set on an outward trajectory. It is better, he says, to accept the fact and focus on better planning for urban frontiers; to accept that car-based development on the fringe as Melbourne's ordained future.

Mr. Birrell believes in some Jetsons-style utopian future where the smog-boxes miraculously metamorphoses into smart cars, oil production never peaks, the economy never falters and traffic problems disappear due to mass hypnosis. If this idiotic attitude prevails, Melbourne's got two chances, Buckley's and none.

Happy Smiley Time Now

Ok, the last post was rather dire. Here's some mirth.


Town Planning: Hello Kitty implements her personal touch to the scoping for Melbourne 2030


Car Culture: Snigger, snort, derisive giggles. Irc images is a bad bad place.



Bike Advocacy: The folks at Parks Victoria & City of Yarra devise new plans to re-develop the existing Gipps Street Steps as a International Down Hill course for the 2006 Commonwealth Games. In the vain hope the rest of us won't notice....

Welcome to Hell in a handbasket

Four Corners: Global Dimming
Until recently many scientists had never heard of global dimming. Among those who had, a lot remained sceptical. Now, thanks in part to the work of Australian researchers, the debate is set to edge into public consciousness.

High carbon dioxide levels lead to incremental temperature rises, while air-borne particles, also created by human activities, contribute to lower levels of solar energy. Problem? Well, curb the dust, and possibly the Earths temperature will escalate rapidly due to greenhouse gases humans have created. Humans all over the planet have forgotten one important truth.

Don't shit where you eat.

Trees, Harmony, Kitties & Twin Tubs

Does this float your boat, er, bike?
"Biketree is dedicated to using the power and the simplicity of the bicycle to promote a clean intermodal transportation system. Bike Tree products emphasize simplicity, efficiency and convience."

Spinning harmony in Tassie: Riders on road to greater harmony
Riders, walkers, dancers, eaters and art lovers were among the thousands who turned out in Launceston for Harmony Day yesterday. More than 150 cyclists rode a 6.5km circuit starting from the Queen Victoria Museum and Art Gallery at Inveresk as part of Bike Week and Harmony Day.

Bicycle Tasmania president Tim Stredwick said riding promoted healthy living, the environment and community interaction.


Where would we be without b3ta and those glorious kittens! Following ditty not to be taken seriously at all. Anyway, don't hurt kitties! Or we'll send Dr Hugh Wirth and Stan "The Man" Longinidis around for a chat.



Your mission for today, leave this playing while you skive off to lunch. Warning: contains plumbers crack....and some 80's bombastic pop that many people would rather forget about....

Lameless personified

The Bill just jumped the shark again. If in doubt, blow stuff up. yawwnnnnn

"......I've always watched and liked The Bill, but all the Cathy Bradford psycho stuff severely tried my patience. I don't know how a station full of supposedly highly trained coppers failed to notice such a grade A nutter in their midst for so long. The false pregnancy, the AIDS scare, stitching up poor old Polly on a murder rap, and then graduating to wild-eyed stares and murder. And the final boiler room siege with the "moody" lighting and Cathy carrying on like something from a cheap 80s slasher flick? Oh, come on!

The "fire bomb" story line I think was the real "Fonzie lands safely" moment. Prior to that there were all the indications that the boat was speeding up, and the ramp was set. Such a shame, because I had been a fantastic, very realistic show....."

May add a quip or two to these comments, not only has The Bill gone up the ramp too many times, but seems to be constantly doing laps around a now dizzy shark. To the scriptwriters credit, Des and Jim rode bikes. Bugger it, bring back DCI Frank Burnside, on a Surly Karate Monkey!

Are You Typing Comfortably? Part II (tm)

Here comes another cileo Twunt of the Week! Possibly western civilisations most exciting highwater mark, full of fantastic prizes! COME ON DOWN!

Ah, hahahaha, every had the feeling you've been cheated?
Secret US Plans for Iraqi Oil: The Documents

Have a nice weekend. Ride a bicycle. Or you may wish to explore that opinion in the future. Hang on, we've got all that gas floating around....

Nutbag City Limits

Roll up, roll up, get all your nontoxic cigarettes and flying cars right on here at yet another uberdodgy internet scam.

BGFG is A high science Co., does her all effort to make human being living in high happiness. Items (developing and shall develop) contain: nontoxic cigarette; simpleton computer; life science; machine ietrology; green traffic system; civilian medicament; psychological prevention of crime; numberical agriculture; hyperphysics phenomena; etc.

64 kinds of WTF? Sometimes inadvertly, Babelfish can be rather poetic.

Oldie but a goodie

Blueprint Denver: Traffic Congestion
This is the first of a series of photographs that illustrates transportation alternatives. The single occupant vehicle consumes a great deal of existing roadway space in contrast to a mixture of car, bus and bicycle transportation.

Having a flashback, didn't Environment Victoria do something similiar outside Melbourne Clown Hall several years ago?


Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!

Shivering without the protection of metal cocoons


Bus 246: Elsternwick/Clifton Hill /La Trobe University Bundoora


Sanity prevails, with a heathly mix of attitudinal change and modal shift. Look at those sexy cyclists out the front, phooaarrr!

Are You Typing Comfortably?(tm)

Bloggers, spammers face clampdown
Hey, Mr Abetz, you, me, carpark.p

Time for a group hug honey bunnies

..........I like you

.....You're cute too

..........Wanna have a cuddle?

......Yeah

.............Ok we'll jump on the bandwagon

Driving us wild

Refer right: Universal Truths

The Age: Driven to despair
We're rude, inconsiderate and aggressive. In short, argues David Morley, Victorians are among the worst drivers in the world — and the blame for that is shared by many. There's an old saying that there are two things you can't tell an Australian bloke. One, that he's no good in bed; and two, that he can't drive well. While we'll draw the line at any assessment of prowess in the boudoir, we've some bad news on the latter front.

I wouldn't draw the line there, its frigging obvious a great deal of road user aggression is sexually focused. I should really get around to diarising the charming range of scatological combined with romantic gynecological namesakes I've incurred over the years. One of the finest retorts is no reaction all all (maintaining a zen-like calm whilst monitoring the situation), followed by utilising the Air Zound to physically MOVE the car. If all else fails, one then partakes in obscene tongue gestures towards to the driver. Oh, my, how that renders the poor things speechless. The look of motification on the poor little dears face is priceless. SHE DID THAT OH MY GAWD HOW FRIGGING DISGUSTING!!!! Which buys me time to speedy depart the scene. Not forgetting another gem from todays Rage: The other road rules: How to Drive like a Melburnian. (Disclaimer: I don't drive and don't come from Melbourne).

Don't give a sucker an even break
babelfish for cyclists: motorists display pig ignorance towards smaller slower moving objects on the left

Amber is the new green
babelfish for cyclists: larger speeding objects to scare the shit out of any cyclist legally obeying the changing lights (at whim)

One man, one lane
babelfish for cyclists: motorists, go on, be a selfish twunt, keep ignoring that cyclist

Are those indicators painted on?
babelfish for cyclists: motorist, um, whats this button/switch do?

Rain-man
babelfish for cyclists: motorists, go faster, go closer, continue to be pig ignorant

Right is might
babelfish for cyclists: fuck off

Goodnight, Thank you, and may your God go with you

Dave Allen, master comedian, dies at 68

Dave Allen At Large

Ben Flys Again!

Yes, The Man From Trisled is going for another paddle in the Yarra after winning last years Birdman Rally! Just don't swallow the water

13 March 2005, 12pm to 2pm, Yarra River – Sea Wall (Birrarung Marr)
Those magnificent men and women in their flying machines, they may go up but they’re certainly going to come down. Soak in all the action as the Birdman Rally returns to the Yarra River once again. Best viewing from both sides of the River.

If this horrid dose of 'flu buggers off, we'll be down there with bells on, and possibly a party whistle or two. Many years ago a HPV 'accidentally' did 110km an hour in _ur_l_y _unn_l in a 60km an hour zone. Don't think that's going to happen again anytime soon....

Mobile Bikes, Old Bikes & 'Bent Bikes

Don't be naughty, dismount first, then take that call!

From the US of A: What will they think of next? Bike Cell Charger Pedaled
First there were cell phone chargers for the car, then solar-powered chargers, USB chargers and then hand-crank chargers - all designed to ensure that people, no matter where they were, would always have the ability to chat endlessly. Now the latest entry into the market is promising to be wheely big news: a cell phone charger that works on bike power.

Not riding & chatting at the sametime, surely not? Recently got into a spot of bother while doing this, and the car driver that just happened to pass by & royally take the piss was a friend. Ok, mea culpa, won't do it again.

At a loose end & just happen to find yourself in Dublin in May? Well, head to Velo-City 2005 Dublin

Fascinated by old bikes, then this should intrigue you:

Australasian Cycle History Conference
The conference will attract cycle historians from Australia and New Zealand who are invited to present papers on their favourite cycle manufacturer/s. Australia has had many hundreds of cycle manufacturers since the late 1800’s and while some like ‘Malvern Star’ have been researched, most have not. This is your opportunity to research your favourite or local bike builder and then share your discoveries with us.

Pity, it clashes with OzHPV 2005 Challenge
"The Greenspeed Broadford OzHpv Challenge 2005 will be a chance for cycles banned from most cycling races (recumbents, trikes and streamlined vehicles) since the 1930's to compete against each other in a wide variety of events, and to socialize and compare vehicles. It's great, fun, family friendly cycling. The organisers aim to have something to please every Human Powered Vehicle fan including racing, riding & watching the fastest and most beautiful human powered vehicles in the country, social rides and a fun trivia competition night. If you're not already a fan, we aim to convert you! "

Bugger, too many silly bikes on one weekend. Broadford wins over Canberra. Require a 'bent for a attempt on the Audax Paris Brest (2011 looking more likely than 2007). Ahhh, dreams. Have a nice weekend. Dream on, 2011?

I want a New Toy (oh ay oh), to keep my head expanding (ta)

Lene and Nina!

All new, all singin', all dancin' blog polls. Refer to righthand column. Over there.

Unfortunately the old polls crapped out for some reason.

And, yes, the Lene Lovich lyric quoted above, is showing my age a tad. Lene, what a Goddess and Happy Birthday Nina!

"But can she ride a bike?"

That was a question asked by a Finnish lady on 774 earlier today.

Inspired by Princess Mary's distinctively regal formal wear, a Hobart boutique has created a right royal window display, The Mercury reported.The display, in Danish colours, features evening gowns finished with Mary-style sashes secured with star-shaped brooches....

View right, now there's a bicycle jersey fit for a Princess!

Mary-style sashes? Oh my, how this ex-Tasmanian chortled with delight; what if the lovely Mary came from Gagebrook, Moonah, Chigwell, Goodwood or Melton Mowbray? (I've even heard rumours over the years that Lachlan & New Norfolk aren't as scary as they used to be). How 'bout Chigga-style flannies, Kappa trackie-dacks, poof boots, mid-riff displays, acidwash pegged jeans & t-shirts emblazed with rude post-modernist slogans? Christ, I shudder with horror recalling early 80's micro-mini school uniforms. I remember shuddering in the cold wearing them. Since departing the isle a virtual lifetime ago, TISM encapsulates how I recall the place....before it went all aspirational.

If its different, punch. If its lager, lunch. If it moves, root. If it quacks, shoot. If its mates, protect. If its wife, neglect. If its wages, bet. If its vicious, pet. If its American, ape. If its a blonde, gape. If its boobs, inflate. If its V8, venerate....TISM: Yob

Sneakiness & Emasculation

Timely article in the Rage detailing weasel words infiltrating the media. Huh? So thats a apparently a new development? Now read this headline: Herald Sun: RACV tunnelling toward tolls OK

"Victoria's peak motoring body has called on the Federal Government to spend money promised for a toll-free Mitcham-Frankston freeway on other urgent road needs. The RACV's federal budget submission effectively acknowledges tolls are now unavoidable, calling for the $565 million earmarked for the freeway to be redirected."

More weasel words, courtesy of the Hun. The RACV acknowledge "tolls are now unavoidable", but see sense and realise that $ should be spent on other more pressing projects. So is the Hun attempting to insinuate RACV's stance is on the nose, possibly with it's membership?

Backtracking to late February, what is really on the nose is the continuing emasculation of Melbourne 2030. "A leaked report has called on the Victorian State Government to invest in public transport. The State Government needs to drop its debt-shy approach to public finance and borrow hundreds of millions of dollars to improve public transport and roads if it is to salvage its troubled planning blueprint, Melbourne 2030. The leaked report by the Melbourne 2030 Implementation Reference Group says the Government has failed to commit funds to, or even acknowledge the need for, the major transport improvements necessary under the planning blueprint. "Without serious attention and substantial investment in transport, Melbourne faces some very serious threats to its economic competitiveness and liveability," it said.. "

But we already knew this, didn't we? All hail the last decade of privatisation and it's benefits, and ponder when peak-oil is going to emerge in the mainstream media?

More sneakiness, The Australian's Editorial has a sooky appraisal of the Australian Press Council's ruling.

"The Greens blithely say they want 20 per cent of road trips to be by bicycle. Does anybody doubt they would achieve this transport revolution by using taxes and parking charges to price cars out of the reach of many Australians - especially when the party also aims to "reduce car ownership"?"

Call me cynical, but when traffic snarls proliferate, it's too late. No amount of combined legislation, education and goofy Critical Mass rides are ever going to induce folks to skip merrily out of their smogboxes. Remember, don't shit when you eat, historially, if a environmental or social issue gets bad enough, people will find a solution. History is also littered with examples where a solution was lacking, much to that societies detriment. Anyway, back to more petulant sooking from the Oz....

Rather than "irresponsible journalism", the Herald Sun's report performed a public service by casting some needed scrutiny on the ragbag of Greens policies. While the party tries to appeal to mainstream Australian, many of its policies still cling to the radical agenda of its feral fringe

Hey, more possibly cynical observations from the peanut gallery, but haven't we evolved past these snide judgments? Ok, that was naive.

Anyway, regarding forays on the internet, keep your pants on

Farewell, Mr Rather

Watching Ingrid

Watch the MODIS Rapid Response System Subsets. The 250m res images are incredible.

Peruse austpacwx discussion over here.

Start nailing down stuff or ride the old steel clunker & place housebricks in your panniers if you live around here.

BoM goes flashy

Perused the 128km Melbourne Radar recently? Colour range now goes: jasmine white, mauve, soft lilac, royal blue, aqua, simply indigo, richmond green, YELLOW, tuscan honey, natural paprika, cochinelle, windsor red, rust, rich chestnut and BLACK. No more pinky bits. Verrrryy spiffy.

Over-run and depressed

South Australia: Cyclist program over-run
A new program designed to encourage workers to ride a bike has turned away more than 900 people because of a lack of funding. The Active Adelaide program, which starts tonight, aims to get commuters, particularly women, into cycling. Despite almost 1000 people registering interest for the program, only 70 workers have been accepted. Bicycle SA executive director, Peter Solly, said yesterday enough money had been made available by the State Government for 70 places only. (more in article)

C'mon, Peter Costello is castigating State Governments for spenting GST inappropriately. Annoy the grinning git even more: THROW MONEY AT IT! Regardless, who did the scoping on this project? If you want attitudial and modial shift; do real research & development. Or read Bob Muntz's opinion. More: Bicycle Institute of South Australia website

Whats this crap? Ahh, one may fit the age group but I'm happier blazing my own alternative reality towards something else. This current dose of 'flu is helping a treat. Kids? Hire one out for the day or get another bike or cat. Money? Change your attitude. Lonely? Not with my great hunk of spunk. Exercise? Bicycle, obviously.

Squabbles in corporateland and this:What the fook? A 104-year-old Chinese woman may be forced to return to China after the Migration Review Tribunal decided to deny her an aged parent visa.

See below for recent photo taken at a Migration Review Tribunal meeting.

This second photo shows one of the inhuman bastards getting their comeuppance.

Don't watch this if you've got the 'flu

Subliminal this defiantly ain't. The mention of the Zen Garden Kitty Litter has blown out a much required synaptic cleft. When I eventually grow up, I want to be like this bloke. Some Monday morning bolshie-ness. Must take paracetamol now & rest.

Bikes & Comics

Slightly reminiscent of Fred Negros work?

From Minneapolis: Being concise is a challenge for any writer, but for cartoonists brevity is supreme. For many, words are secondary to pictures and it’s the illustration that matters most. What distinguishes a great cartoonist from a talented illustrator is his or her ability to tell a story with words and pictures—to write and draw— delivering a powerful message succinctly, using a particular style—humor, satire, socio-political commentary, serial, etc. Local cartoonists Roger Lootine, Ken Avidor and Andy Singer have collectively been doodling for decades. And while each artist has a distinct style, all three share a passion for biking that’s highlighted in the new Bikes & Comics show at One on One Bicycle Studio.

cileo Twunt of the Week

quick, dirty & not terribly original either

It's been a hellva week, so lets kick off this Friday morn with the cileo Twunt of the Week Award This week its awarded to a dodgy Sydney-sider with poor impulse control. Good on ya mate, an exceeding rare example of cyclist road rage but absolute GOLD to some folks in the media. Whats the odds that this little gem will lie forgotten for months, if not years, only to be dragged forth by shoutback radio announcers & the likes of OR&MN? I'll take bets if enough interest's shown. BTW, last weeks inaugural cileo twunt of the week winner was of course a photo-finish between Cuddy Mick and OR&MN.

Velorution

Soon back on line
please please Andrea, I'm fretting & gone off my food, teh internets not the same with you. (wipes eyes, sits in corner, sooks quietly)

Town planning: Variation on a well-known theme. Transport ver in production? If I can be bothered.

Livewrong

Finally scored a couple of aforementioned bracelets via Mr C. Whore while attending infield action at The Austral. 'Hey Dan, got some dru....um, trendy black bracelets to sell?' He did indeed. So the assembled members of PubBUG were happy. Very happy indeed, now we're all on a downward spiral together. Idle remarks included tipsy musings on the bracelets possible origins, maybe recycled prophylactics made in China? Well at least they've got the population base over there to support such a industry. Ours unfortunately doesn't have the skull n' cross bones motif, I'll try scratching it in later....

More here folks Live Wrong

Hippy, I'll box your ears later for attending the F1. Ok, Ok it was a freebie.

cileo's first 'Sealed Section"

CBS 2 has obtained a videotape that the New York City police department doesn't want you to see. It shows cops on surveillance just before last year's Republican Convention in Manhattan. But it is what they were checking out that is a little disturbing.

August 27, 2004, just before the Republican National convention a police helicopter hovers over the East Village covering the Critical Mass ecological protest supporting more bicycle use. Hundreds are arrested. The police helicopter is equipped with an infra red camera which records images by how much heat is given off, thereby enabling police literally to see in complete darkness.

phoaar! You'll just have to click on the link to find out! More background info at Times Up

'Why are bike riders are taking up more space'

Well no one told us

Who ever came up with that stoopid headline must of had a brainfart. The article in question is part of a new monthly guide 'Local Life' in the 'Metro' liftout in Wednesdays The Age. Can't find anything online, looks like a joint venture between The Age, local councils/Municipal Association of Victoria. As the article has a big mention of Yarra Councils cycling activities, I wouldn't mind a scan or ocr text.(pleaasse) The national award Yarra won last year still has me mildly bemused, absolutely no mention of it on the councils website, even after several enquiries were made.

Put-in-a-submission-for-award-oh-yeah-we-won-the-award-oh-thats-nice-but-don't-promote-cos-its-all-a-bit-awkward-at-the-moment. Can anyone actually find a mention of this award? (bar the Cycling Promotion or Australian Bicycle Council websites.) If its actually found on Yarra Council website I'll be very surprised. Other discussion here: Another bit of press (Today's Age-LocalLife)

Having fun getting around the CBD today? ARE WE HAVING FUN YET? Repeat, you must have FUN - Ron demands that you have FUN.

Main streets in the city centre will be closed for five hours. The free event is being staged by Melbourne City Council and the Australian Grand Prix Corporation to celebrate Sunday's 10th world championship race at Albert Park. The lunchtime "race" will begin at Federation Square at 12.30pm, cross Princes Bridge to the Arts Centre, return along St Kilda Road and complete a block around Swanston, Collins, Russell and Flinders streets before finishing back at Federation Square.

It's all coming together now, the pieces fit the picture - the constabulary were simply practicing crowd control skills last Friday evening! You know it makes sense. Might pop down during lunch and see if I can find Old Rice and Monkey Nuts hiding under a brolly, lurking on a street corner, having hallucinations involving voices......once again, just when I feel like the only Horatio-on-the-bridge-esque salmon bothering to swim upstream to die, it turns out I am a trout, surrounded and buoyed by the kindness and like-minded thinking of literally millions of other trout swimming with honour and common-sense to a lake of knowledge and contentment.

Yawn, more here The Age: Your Say,

Might take an interest if there was some actual competition involved, bit like the cricket.....

Cycle Speedway is a sport. Surf Life Saving is a sport. Pingpong is a sport. Formula 1 is not a sport.

The Separation of Church and State

From The Rae Street Institute: 'On tonight's show we're making a casserole.....'

More at CityState. Personally I think the whole Critical Mass palaver's a pan-flipping omelette. Now I'll freely admit that cileo is a Arnotts family assorted of mutterings & stray thoughts mixed in with actual news articles, but I earnestly wish to participate in the legal framework for civil society. Funny subtext - just heard Bracksy whinging on the The World Today about Costello's GST plan being an 'attack on democracy'. Bracks should cast his attention from Williamstown across to Port Melbourne last friday evening. Oh, sorry, how embarrassingly naive of me, Brackys talking about $$$$ not civil rights & duty of care.

"I mean this is an outrage and would not be tolerated in any parliamentary democratic system in the world."

Uphold the right, indeed.

Later, at the Nuthutch

Oil prices climb above $US52
World oil prices climbed above $US52 in New York for the first time in four months overnight on freezing weather in the northern hemisphere and a bullish price outlook from OPEC kingpin Saudi Arabia, before cooling on profit taking, analysts said.

"Prices remain supported by cold weather, OPEC comments and fund buying."

So this article from Al Jazeera is pure coincidence or fabrication?
Expert says Saudi oil may have peaked As oil prices remain above $45 a barrel, a major market mover has cast a worrying future prediction. Energy investment banker Matthew Simmons of Simmons and Co International has been outspoken in his warnings about peak oil before. His new statement is his strongest yet, 'we may have already passed peak oil'

Doctor: 'Stevens, listen to me. You've seen where this efficiency of yours leads. Wholesale pollution of the countryside. Devilish creatures spawned by the filthy by-products of your technology. Men... men walking around like brainless vegetables. Death. Disease. Destruction

Doctor Who: The Green Death

My first introduction to the perils of oil was via a rather stern Jon Pertwee speech either in this series or The Sea Devils. Went something like 'when is Man going to cease dependence upon primitive crude oil'. Take into consideration that these episodes were created in the early 70's during the OPEC Oil Shocks they are a fascinating historical snapshot of the time. Okay, off to check IMDB, pick up one bike from the LBS and, more research into a stand-alone power system for new house.....