cfsmtb in low earth orbit

Friday, March 31, 2006

Mentioned in despatches

Image hosting by PhotobucketConvert now to the One True Faith: Obi-Wan Kenobi now rides a fully pimped Kona Stinky Delux.

Announcement: on 8th August 2006 you're taking the day off. You will also persuade all your family, friends and work colleagues to do likewise. You will ride around all day, imbibe coffee, eat bakery goods, have fun in the process, and fudge increase those all important statistics that various tiers of Australian government base their cycling infrastructure funding upon.

Another evil idea. Actually, think again, it's probably a good one. Who's putting down "Cyclist" as their religion on the census?

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Attack on vegetarian fixed gear rider!

fixie incident copyWild pumpkins at midnight

In breaking news, a feral Queensland Blue pumpkin vine unleashed a vicious
overnight attack upon a unsuspecting fixie in Brunswick. Police and Parks Victoria declined to comment after the unprovoked incident in Melbournes inner northern suburbs. The bikes owner, who was shaken but unharmed after the attack said "I wouldn't want to fall asleep in the wrong place". Authorities are investigating the attack and possible motive.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Short and sweet

Kitty BikeThe Present ...

I can't allow the previous horrid entry remaining as lead item on this blog over the weekend. So here's a cheery little anecdote from earlier this evening.

Whilst cycling down to Goat this evening through Yarra Bend Park, I encountered a little girl riding her bike just past Dights Falls. I could see she was having a bit of strife with the training wheels while decending a rise on the bikepath. I slowed down and gave a gentle ring of the bell to let her know I was behind her. She picked up her bike, and moved to the riverbank side.

I said "Thank you very much"

She stood up proudly next to her lovely bike and said to me, "You're most welcome"
2005 Pisa
The Future ....

I don't think she was more than 5 or 6 years old. Anyway after I passed her, I stood up on the pedals and heroically caned off (ie: wildly posing) down towards the Collingwood Childrens Farm. We had a joke about it later at Goat. Envisage the scenario, we're at a future World Track comp/Commonwealth/Olympic Games and this (now) grown cyclist spies me in cheap seats and comes over and thanks and/or blames me. "It's all you're fault, all those early starts ... I could of bought a car by now, if it wasn't for you .." As Phil at Spinopsys mentions about the bicycle industry’s killer app, simply get out and ride whatever two wheeled contraption that makes you smile today!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Too close for comfort

page7aRather crappy news from near Beer Can Hill ...
Suspected shooter surrenders
March 23, 2006 A Melbourne man is being questioned over the shooting of a cyclist after he turned himself in to police. A number of firearms and ammunition were seized from the man's house after he contacted police. No charges have been laid. Police say a 31-year-old Northcote man may have accidentally discharged a firearm which shot a woman in the chest on Tuesday. The cyclist, Melinda Zygarlicki, was lucky to escape with her life after a 22 calibre bullet struck her in the chest as she was riding across a footbridge over Merri Creek, near Rushall railway station in Fitzroy North on Tuesday morning. "I felt something (hit) me in the chest and originally I thought it was a bird or a tennis ball," she said.

"It felt like it was ricocheting ... through me and I thought don't be silly, don't be melodramatic, you're all right." Ms Zygarlicki rode home and was unaware of the extent of her injuries until an X-ray hours later revealed a 22-calibre bullet lodged under her rib cage. She is recovering in St Vincent's Hospital from a collapsed lung. "If you're going to be shot this is apparently the best case scenario," Ms Zygarlicki said. "Whoever's mucking around with a gun is very stupid and look what it does to people."
When I first heard the news this afternoon, before the suspect turned themselves in, I really didn't believe that some Sarajevo-style sniper was loose down the creek. But a 22 has a lethal range of about 1600m, so where the hell did they *accidently* discharge the weapon from?!? Regardless of whether a cyclist, pedestrian or other animal/vegetable/mineral was involved I'm seriously fucking angry about such a stupid incident in my local area. As Normie Rowe said ages ago, Northcote's My Patch and like many, I've cycled over that bridge thousands of times since the 90's and hate the fact that a relatively rare incident such as this could potentially put the frighteners on people. Hope the cops and the ballistic experts get to the bottom of the matter and seriously do a proper job on the fuckwit/s responsible.

In happier news, Bikesoilers Cunning Plan to get into the Lysterfield MTB CommGames event sans tickets worked out beautifully. When BigPoo works properly we'll upload a heap of pix to our flickr gallery from last Saturdays Track Comps, todays MTB action and hopefully Sundays Road cycling action. Tootle-pips till then.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Too much bike fun!

clip_image002Our BigPoo internerd service currently thinks it's a teapot & unfortunately I'm forced to utilise the services of a internerd cafe with Fox-FM, car noise and car fumes. Such fun. Fuck I hate IE. Anyway I'm now going to attempt at least six separate threads and/or reminders into one and test your reading and analysis skills. Big breath, here goes ....

1. aus.bicycle spoke cards.Yes we're been busy out in the shed and those cards are almost finished. So to those of you with pre-orders, we haven't forgotten about you. Should have the printing & laminating component done bynext week.

2. Tomorrow night YarraBUG are having a genteel ride around the Capital City Trail, perusing the "Fish" on the Yarra, being *dreadfully nice* to the pedestrians strolling along Southbank and then continuing along to Docklands for a cuppa & meal. So gently stretch your legs and partake in a small PR exercise down in Southbank along the way. Hi all, time to saddle up and come along to our next midweek ride details as follows. Meet 6.30pm at Dights Falls to ride to Docklands and return to inner northern suburbs, estimated ride time 1 hour 40 minute + coffee/meal time a bit extra. Or at your leisure! Please bring bike lights and lock, helmet, adequate clothing. Email cfsmtbATgmailDOTcom

3. PubBUG/Wheels of Justice GOATAGE - this Friday 24th March at Mountain Goat Brewery in Burnley. Start possibly at 6pm or when we can be stuffed.

4. Invitation Sat 25th, March 10am - 4pm Doing our bit to celebrate the Commonwealth Games, Charlie and Paul invite you to an Open Day at Farren Bike Collection. View the amazing and wonderful Farren Historial Bicycles and Tricycles specially smarted up for the occassion! plus coffee and coissants. 131 Brighton Street, Richmond. Melways ref 58 F1. Check out the Commonwealth Games cyclists trying out the nearby road race course between 8 - 10 am before the main race on Sunday 26th, then drop in for chat or stay all day!

5. Sunday 26th - Comms Games Road Cycling. YarraBUG are having another genteel ride, meeting up at 8am at Suede Bar, 284 Smith Street, Collingwood to ride down to the course. Now a few other planned events spring to mind, ie: the Wheels of Justice "Alexis Rhodes Cheersquad". Now here's an idea or two. Wear a glitter wig, paint crappy cardboard signs with clag and glitter enblazoned with ALEXIS ROCKS or ALEXIS IS MY HERO or similar. The plan is, if we're visually silly enough, we may appear on telly. Whatdoyathink?!? We are currently discussing on the PubBUG list a suitable meeting point, and an offer for storage place for our bikes.

6. From bikefunnist: Sun 26 Mar – The Critical Criterium 2pm - Carlton Gardens Fountain. Come reveal you inner legendary cyclist. For all those who decided not to ride in the Commonwealth Games this year, here is the ride for you! Picnic, beverages and medal presentation after. (superhero costumes and lycra encouraged) organisers: moose & chicken and lollyman

Monday, March 13, 2006

So where the bloody hell are you?

St Kilda PierSaturday arvo: Fun in the sun on St Kilda Pier

As planned, the
Melbourne Aeolian Ride ROCKED the bayside suburbs on Saturday! Actually the ride amused, inspired, confused, baffled and provoked mirth in thousands of surprised spectators. Just quietly between you and me, the Aeolian suits are R&D prototypes for a new Power Tap measuring system. Many many thanks to Jessica and Clay for bringing out this splendid ride + suits to Australia. Here's the Melbourne Aeolian Ride Flickr pix, and read Suzies report.

Aeolian Ride ~ 3 of 11 Originally uploaded by dmcd

Message from Jessica,
Hello Melbourne,
I want to thank you so much for all your support - yesterday's ride turned out fantastic. Big thanks to all the riders, volunteers and your local organizer Chris Star :) We got a lot of giddy responses from the peds and cars. Children waving and a couple of guys doubled over with laughter.

I was really happy to meet all the different bike lovers. Melbourne is a great place for bikes. I am collecting your high resolution digital photos for the aeolian book as well as putting a collection of them online as well. Please email your photos to:


Weeeeee!Recce ride on Thursday night: cfsmtb launches into low earth orbit

Seriously though, the Aeolian Ride has been one of the best cycling events I've coaxed along, from original interest some 12-18 months ago, to actual event taking shape. Bloody satisfying & funny to boot. Now, one must rest. Thankyou to you all & it's been an absolute blast!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Bunnies, raindrops and puff pastries

Comms Games VolunteerWelcome to Melbourne, official home of Ron Walker!

Melbourne may indeed be buzzing with excitment, whether it's Commonwealth Games traffic changes, the friendly Comms Games smurfs volunteers brightening up the streets, or The Age's debate regarding free public transport. Which, incidentally, they will be campaigning as a issue right up to the next Victorian state election. The main excitment around here is this weekend's Aeolian Ride, followed on Sunday by pleasant wind down pedals at either the Yarra Boulie or Melb World Wide Naked Bike Ride. There's been talk in our household of *someone* wearing cycling sleeves and legs with flesh-coloured undies. I've also overheard idle chatter concerning folks getting their backs waxed and attiring themselves in single explorer socks. Eccchhhhh, I'm retreating to a safe distance away from it all...

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Commonwealth Games - Bike parking problems? Been hearing on ABC 774 this morning (10/3) about problems with bike parking for Comms Games events. It seems if you lock up outside a designated area that there is a chance your bike could be confiscated. So please be aware of this! Further information via BV website: Riding around during the Commonwealth Games.

Further Melboring transport news: The Art of Transport: Mediums of Artistic Practice in Pakistan, India and Australia. For more than ten years artists Durriya Kazi and Mick Douglas have been independently undertaking art projects in the public domain that work with modes of transport as mediums of art practice.

Overseas bicycle news: Scrumptious bicycle p0rn & steel luggy goodiness, courtesy of the North American Handmade Bicycle Show :: Part 1 :: Part 2 :: Part 3 :: phoar!!!!!

Cape Town, South Africa
Cape Town SA ride, photo by Sean Wilson

Now back to those Aeolian Ride details, for the actual route, please see below these following paragraphs of stuff. Route segments could be subject to small changes due to Comms Games traffic conditions. As the ride is mainly on the Bay Trail, we ask that cyclists ride single file, or "unsuited" riders can ride in the adjacent bikelane on Beaconsfield Parade. Be polite, be nice to other trail/road users and follow traffic signals, as this isn't a Critical Mass style ride. Anyway virtually all Melbourne CM-style rides are nice and polite, expect for the occasional irate cager or someone getting their knick(er)s in a twist. But that's another kettle of fish story.

We meet 4pm, Saturday 11 March at the Beacon Cove Food Store in Port Melbourne. "Unsuited" riders are most welcome, we're having a waitlist just in case some registered riders don't attend, at 4.40pm is when we'll know if there's any spare suits. If you want to be a safety rider, please contact me on and I'll give you further details/headsup. Jessica has previous organised rides in New York, San Francisco, Cape Town + Los Angeles, so be prepared to travel for the next one! Addendum: Melbourne Weather for Saturday Saturday. Fine. Min 16 Max 33. So be prepared and bring sunscreen + plenty of water.

Also there is a reconnaissance ride to be held for riders/photographers tomorrow night, Thursday (9/3) at 7.30pm, meeting at the Beacon Cove Food Store. Please bring lights etc.

If you can't attend either, don't forget the benefit gig at Glitch Bar on 7.30pm, Friday 10th March, $5 entry, presentation + vids by Jessica Findley + *very special bicycle film* screening!

New York Aeolian RideNew York Aeolian Ride

Route: start at Beacon Cove Food Store in Port Melbourne (Melways 57 A3)
  • And we stay on the bikepath riding single file,
  • Turn right at Pier Road, into the beautiful Cantani Gardens,
  • Back onto the Bay Trail, then wait for it ..out to the St Kilda Pier! We can do this as long as the riders stay in single file & the safety riders do their job.
  • We ride up the pier, go around the back of the kiosk to the breakwater & have a little breather/rest.
  • Then proceed back down the pier, turn right, continue along the Bay Trail,
  • Ride down to St Kilda Marina, turn around there,
  • Ride back towards the city along the Bay Trail to Pier Rd,
  • Ride back up to Cantani Gardens, then up to the shared trails in Albert Park.
  • Then follow route to Lorne Street.
  • Cross Queens Rd at Lornes St,
  • Turn left up Queens Lane, turn right at Beatrice St,
  • Cross St Kilda Road at the lights
  • And bingo! We're at the Belgian Beer Cafe!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Returned thanks + Melbourne film fest

Cape Town Aeolian Ride, November 2004

I'd like to say a *big cheesy thankyou* to everyone to helped out on Friday evening mass for the Aeolian Ride benefit with Combat Wombat, Curse ov Dialect, Fortknight Productions & the CM ride doco. Your marvellous efforts have greatly assisted us to assist Jessica Findley travelling out from New York + also organise a second benefit gig + presentation at Glitch Bar, 7.30pm, next Friday 10 March. There'll be a talk + vids from Jessica, bike fun and a *very special bicycle* film screening! We have 52 riders, but still require a couple of safety riders. Please contact me if you want to help out + what to document the ride.
Celluloid Cycles
Speaking of bike fillums - there's a Melbourne bicycle film fest next month! Screening at said fest will be several Critical Mass classics - Still We Ride, We are Traffic .... and ... Return of the Scorcher!!!! I made a mention about a possible locally-based movie festival last year, and it looks as if Tim Sheedy was independently inspired to organise something. Très kewl, see you there!